Musings from a Pastor, Educator, Wife, and Mother





Friday, May 1, 2015

Seeing One Another

I had lunch this week with a dear friend of mine named Joyce.  She is 81 years young, I've known her for at least 15 years. Joyce was one of the first people to welcome my family to Bedford Presbyterian.  She served as a youth advisor when I was a teenager.  She has shared her faith and inspired many people of all ages.  Joyce is more than a friend, she is an important part of my family.  She has been present for many milestones in my life including my graduation from college, my wedding, my installation at Appomattox, the beginning of my time at Covenant, and likely my child's first birthday.  We reminisced a little bit during our lunch together.  Joyce shared how much it meant to her to be an advisor with us after her first husband passed away.  She recalled how we  surprised her with other members of the church to celebrate her first birthday after he died.  Funny, I don't remember that at all, but I am so thankful that it was meaningful to her.  Joyce was more than just another available adult to be present with our church's youth.  She built relationships with us.  She loved us. She loves us still.  

Fast forward to today. I was sent a text message by another dear friend, this one named Chris, he is in his early 20s.  I had the privilege of serving as an advisor while he was in youth group about 5 years ago.  Chris is currently away at a conference where he is learning about youth ministry.   He wanted to let me know how much the love I have shown him in his life has shaped him.  WOW! What a special moment to remind me of why I do what I do, why I love the vocation God called me to live into.  People like Joyce taught me what it means to be present with another person.  People like Joyce taught me to build relationships with people.  I love all the youth and young adults I have worked with, I am proud of each and every one of them. They are doing amazing things with their lives.  I loved them when I was with them.  I love them still.  

Building relationships.  Seeing one another as human beings--I think perhaps this is what our world is missing.  We have forgotten that we are people, the human race.  I don't really care if you believe we were created in the image of God and called good or not.  I believe it, but that doesn't mean you have to believe it to see the value in treating others with respect and compassion.  When did we stop doing this?  Probably at the beginning of time, but it seems to me that with each passing year it is getting worse.  The world of science and technology is advancing at a rate which makes my head spin, but as people who exist (I believe) to be in relationship with one another, we are digressing.  

I know that in our online culture hashtags are an important way to link us together.  They help to build connections of threads and discussions that are happening all over the world.  They are snip-its meant to help us rally together behind a particular thought or idea.  I am sure most of us have seen #BlackLivesMatter.  Perhaps you have also seen #PoliceLivesMatter.  Yes, yes they do.  These are valid words and I agree with them wholeheartedly.  Both of them.  But you know what I would like to see: #AllLivesMatter.  Lives Matter.  Black lives, white lives, depressed lives, homeless lives, military lives, police lives, pastor lives, gang lives, youth lives, poor lives, rich lives, immigrant lives, Christian lives, Buddhist lives, Muslim lives, Atheist lives, gay lives, divorced lives, married lives, young lives, old lives, handicapped lives, lost lives, jobless lives, anorexic lives, bullied lives, victimized lives, transgender lives, foreign lives, democrat lives, republican lives, and every single life in between!   All. Lives. Matter. 

When will we drop our arms and stop casting stones?  When will we stop seeing red long enough to recognize that there is a person standing in front of us instead of an issue?  When will we quiet our speech long enough to hear the other person speaking?  When will we come to terms with the fact that building relationships on compassion, respect, and love is the only thing that will prevent us from destroying ourselves and each other?

I thank God for grace.  I thank God for people like Joyce and Chris with whom I was able to build relationships, even though we come from different places in our lives.  I hope I can continue to mirror relationship building in my interactions with all people, because everyone's lives are worthy of recognition, validation, and care.  

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