Musings from a Pastor, Educator, Wife, and Mother





Thursday, February 16, 2017

"You Have A Great Day, Mommy?"

Last week I wrote about how difficult it has been for my son to transition to a new classroom at school.  I mentioned how at the end of every day, after crocodile tears every morning, Kemper says, "I had a great day."  Last night, on the way home from church after a meeting, Kemper said, "Mommy, I had a great day.  You have a great day, mommy?"  "Well, yes I did have a pretty good day. Thank you for asking," I replied. 

I spend a good portion of my day at my desk reading emails, planning lessons, organizing programs, or working on worship.  These are things I like to do, things I like to think I do well.  And I always take joy in checking things off my 'to-do' list.  But that isn't what made my day great.  The thing that makes my job most enjoyable during the day in and day out tasks of ministry are the people I work with.  Collectively, we get a lot done in a day's time, but we are sure to have fun while we do it.  Sure, there are tough situations to work through, problem solving to be done.  But, in the midst of that, there is an undercurrent of friendship and support. 

I saw a question a few days ago asking, "what do you and your staff do for self-care?"  The biggest thing we do is support one another.  We listen to one another and offer support to each other as we can, whether the conversation is professional or personal, we are present for each other.  I cannot tell you what a gift that is when you are having a hard day and you just need someone to confide in (or vent to). 

Second, we like to laugh here!  If there was not some battle of wits taking place over sports teams or general sarcasm, I would really be concerned.  Lord help us if our new head of staff does not have a sense of humor (PNC, please read this is a must!).    I think that we work so well together because we are willing to share a joke and tease one another all in good fun.

Finally (although this is not an exhaustive list), we trust one another to do our jobs.  There is no need for any micromanaging in this church office.  We have a firm grasp on what our responsibilities are (which isn't easy because it has changed up quite a bit in the last year) and we trust one another to follow through on what needs to be done.  In addition, if one of us becomes overwhelmed and needs help, we know we can ask one another.  If someone is out for a personal matter, illness, or vacations, we all work together to fill in the gaps.  Because we know that health and family are important, in fact they come first. 

So, yes, because of the staff I am blessed to be a part of, I had a great day.  Most of my work days are great days.  Not everyone can say that they walk into work to do a job they love among people that they love, and for people that they love.  I know I am very fortunate.

What about you?  Do you have a healthy work environment? In what ways do you and your co-workers maintain a positive atmosphere? If you don't have that experience, how does your faith inform how you interact with your colleagues?  What could you do to enhance the experience to become more positive? 

Friday, February 10, 2017

The Hard Week

It has been a hard week to be a mother.  A hard week to be a wife.  A hard week to be a pastor. Just a hard week. Deadlines, responsibilities, fatigue and general grumpiness.  Ever have those?  I'm sure you do. 

The hardest part of our week at home has been the mornings.  You see, our son Kemper started a new class at his school last week. Every morning for the last week our little toddler has woken up crying because, in his words, "I don't wanna go to big classroom."  Our little one has left the familiar space of a class he has been in for eight months or so, and moved across the hall, leaving behind beloved teachers and close friends, for a new teacher and older children, some of whom are friends, and others who are "big kids" and seem a little scary.   Even though the schedule is basically the same, his routine is much the same, there is so much newness it overwhelms him.   The amazing part of it is that every afternoon when we've picked him up he has run to me and said, "Mommy, I had a great day!"  But somewhere between dinner and the next morning, the great day is forgotten and the anxiety sets in again. 

Transitions are hard.  We recognize that don't we, Covenant? Transitions are unfamiliar, and messy. Transitions are frightful and frustrating.  The unknown is agonizing. In 3 years Covenant has had 2 longtime pastors retire.  We've also had an adult ministries and volunteer coordinator and a youth and activities director retire. We have a new preschool director this year.  There has been a huge shift among both staff and laity in terms of ministry responsibilities.  We waited while we called an interim.  We waited while we hired a new youth director.  We wait, still, for a new Pastor/Head of Staff to be called.  God knows he/she is out there and will guide our dedicated PNC in God's time. There is a new class of elders and deacons and we are launching a new organization of leadership with five ministry teams comprised of elders, deacons, and laity.  I feel overwhelmed just typing it all.   Transitions are hard.

But you know what, at the end of each Sunday service I think, "Lord, we had a great day."  At the close of ministry team meetings and staff meetings I think, "Lord, we had a great day."  When we collected 3,324 cans of soup for our community, "Lord, we had a great day."  When I finish chapel time with the preschool children, "Lord, we had a great day."  When we send out college care packages in such abundance that we cannot pack it all into the boxes, "Lord, we had a great day."  When families and visitors return week after week to become involved in our Covenant community, "Lord, we had a great day."   

Somehow, we have to overcome the anxiety, the fear, the inertia, we feel in our transitional time and focus on the great day.  For Kemper, we've tried all sorts of things to encourage him this week.  We've taken him to the playground, we've gotten him special dinners, we've talked about how brave his new Ninja Turtle shoes at school can make him.  We've even let him carry a batman figurine in his pocket.    As a church, we have all the tools we need to come out on the other side of transition.  We each bring gifts and talents to the table, if we are willing to recognize and share them.  We have the Bible to guide us and Bible Studies, Classes, and committed teachers to help teach and interpret alongside us.  We have dedicated leaders who focus on the daily operations of our church, and members who have spent considerable time guiding us to discern who we are and where we are going.  We have the joy of small children and the inquiring minds of teenagers. Even more importantly, we have our Gracious God on our side! 

Next time you begin to feel overwhelmed by the changes or struggle with the difficulties of the past or the uncertainty of the future; ask yourself where the joy in your calling to love God, love people, and make disciples comes from.  Find something that inspires you to say, "Lord, we had a great day!" 

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Camps & Conferences: Soul Food for Today's Youth

I've been reflecting a great deal this week on what my camp and conference experiences have meant to me in my faith journey over the years.  As a teenager, I attended presbytery-wide youth retreats, weekend conferences at Massanetta, and week-long conferences at Montreat, both for Youth and Worship & Music.  I was truly fortunate to be part of a congregation that supported these events financially, in their physical presence, and in their prayers.  As an adult I've served on the Presbytery Youth Council, been on planning teams for various retreats and conferences, and attended conferences with youth groups.  It never fails to amaze me how rejuvenating these experiences are for our youth.  I firmly believe that these experiences that are set apart from "regular" Sunday School, Youth Group, or Worship are vital for our teenagers to build stronger relationships within their peer group at church.  Today, more than ever, I find that these opportunities are essential to the faith formation of young Christians and I'd like to share my reasons with you, so that you can support your youth: in finances, in presence, in prayer. 

1)  Road Trip! Traveling or "going away" with your peers is important.  The bonding that can happen on a long car ride is life changing! Perhaps parents or youth have the illusion that youth leaders lock the van doors and force kids into painful discussions on faith and Bible quizzes--not unlike the threat of the uncomfortable "birds and bees" talk while driving down the highway.  In my experience that isn't the case.  However, some fun, ice-breaking discussions can be planned in a pinch if the ride gets boring.  The key is to get the youth engaging with each other and not just on their phones or listening to headphones on the trip.  Some of my favorite memories involve walkie-talkies and van driver code-names so we could all communicate even in separate cars. Some youth may be old hats at this, while others will be nervous to go away for the first time. A lot of times, bonding in the car helps calm the nerves.   Let's not dismiss the value of gas-station snack breaks and public rest stop stretches. There's nothing quite like setting out on an adventure together.

2) Covenant Check! There is value in coming together and building a covenant between all parties involved in the camp or conference.  Perhaps there are specific rules given by the conference that needs to be addressed.  But, in addition to this, the teens and adults who are in this thing together, can gather and build a covenant that everyone can abide.  It can be a time of great laughter if everyone is coming up with silly things to add to the list in jest. But even more important is the transformation that begins to occur when youth are reflecting on what is important to them when living in community together. The foundation of each covenant is respect.  A lot of times things like, "Don't talk over one another in back home group time" and "Don't go anywhere with out a buddy" and "no purpling" or "leave room for Jesus" make the list. Whether living in a house together, or being roommates in a dorm, mutual respect is taught.  Everyone has to agree on the terms and sign the covenant in commitment to work together and hold each other accountable.  I guarantee at some point in the week you'll hear a youth call someone out and say, "Covenant check (this may not always be serious)!"

3) Walking on Holy Ground.  These spaces of worship and learning that are set apart for God's people are sacred.  Sometimes they are described as "Thin Places" because the presence of God is more easily experienced there.  Oftentimes at camps or conferences, participants have what we might call,
"mountaintop experiences," which bring them into a more intimate relationship with God. 
I've said before, I believe that people are hardwired to long for the presence of God, to seek places in their lives where God’s presence is palpable; holy ground, thin places.  We learned this from Moses, who needed assurance from God that his presence would go with him; he wanted to meet God face to face. For me, Montreat is such a place and has been since the first time I went there.  While it is every pastors hope to create thin places in worship and all congregations want to have mountain top experiences in their own churches, there is something special about going to a place set apart, where all of the efforts and energies are focused on drawing closer to God and Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit. It gives you some momentum to return home to your every day reality with a renewed spark of the Spirit.

4) Being Affirmed in Faithfulness.  There are many extracurricular activities in which our youth can build community.  Sports teams, especially travel teams create community through both traveling together, participating in the sport, and creating collective covenants as a team.  Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts also create great spaces of community through fellowship and service.  There are many other valuable clubs and opportunities for our teens to experience.  But there is something deeply stirring about attending a camp or conference where you are surrounded by other people your age who are struggling to figure out what it is that they believe.  Suddenly you are in a place where it is safe to talk about what you believe, or ask questions about what you don't know.  In workshops, worship times, and small group gatherings, youth can focus on a particular theme that is relevant to their place in life, and supported by a Biblical foundation.  They can sing songs that reflect their faith, they can witness other youth in leadership, they can feel that there are adults around them who not only have some recollection of what they are going through, but deeply desire to listen and guide them on their faith journey.  Participants can draw closer together within their youth group, but they also get to meet teens from other churches, whether right down the road or several states away.  We all know that with modern technology, those relationships can continue for years to come.  I have a friend I met at Montreat in 2001.  We have remained connected through all these years, we ended up attending the same seminary and now have shared experiences in ministry.  Making friends with people who are not in your immediate community can be a huge blessing to a young person who may struggle with something too painful to share in their immediate context. 

5) Learning a language of faith.  Young people don't have many opportunities to be vocal about their faith in most cases.  Retreats, camps, conferences give them a chance not only to consider their faith but find ways to articulate that faith to others.  Maybe they see for the first time that worshipful music can be played with a wide variety of instruments.  Maybe they experience Communion in a large group where they can be served the elements and also serve someone else.  Maybe they find that art, dance, and theater can all be ways in which we talk about God.  If we adults are lucky, we will have a chance to have these youth return to church and reflect on their experiences.  We can be blessed by the messages that they bring back and also in the ways that they convey that message.  In the best of all circumstances, they will return changed, and if we are paying attention we will be able to see a stronger group at work, with a sense of belonging and purpose for the shared ministry of the church.   If we are smart, we will find ways to encourage their enthusiasm and channel their mountain top experiences into positive reinforcement for a lifelong journey of faith. 

So. Encourage your youth to attend.  Embolden them to take a leap of faith.  Equip them to express what they've found. Empower them with your encouragement and your prayers.  Amen.