Havens

One of my favorite poems that I have ever written.  I like to revisit it now and then.  Though it was reworked in 2008, I believe it began in a draft much earlier than that, maybe as early as 2002 or 2003. You might recognize some places...familiar homes to me, my childhood home in Hurt, VA, Montreat, Woodcreek Road, Camp Fincastle (which no longer exists as it did), and the Blue Ridge Parkway. Places where I would go to find sanctuary.  Places I still like to go.  Where do you seek sanctuary? 

Havens

Being an only child

I would run out

Into the center of a sun-ripened plain

Flop my tiny body

Into the weeds and look

Up into a satin sky

Watching cotton balls

Detach from one another

Forming their own identities

Being distraught by a boisterous crowd

I walked down the root-veined path

The clay soiling my toenails of opal

Beside Lake Susan I found myself

Perched on a protruding stone

I saw that it was lonely and wished

To be submersed in depth, just as I

Being one who loves to stargaze

I went out into the late-night world

And searching for warmth

Reached the road and sprawled

In the middle of its stretch

I wished on falling stars

Until the tangerine sun
Burnt away the violet sheath

Being lost in my faith

Feeling out of place stirred in

With the praise band

And the over-friendly psalm reciters

Who somehow misplaced my existence

I walked out onto a rickety dock

Standing in the middle of a freezing, filthy pond,

And saw Jesus' face wink

At me through the muck

Being depressed as to why he left

I drove up the curvy parkway

Then wound back down again

Until a reached a clapboard church

Where I could overlook his valley home

Cry amongst the dead whose names I did not know

And mourn thoughts of reason

That should have brought me hope



A Mother's Prayer

"Thanks to your hidden providence, O my God, your hands did not let go of my soul."--St. Augustine

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."--Jeremiah 1:5

In July of 2002 my parents were hit by a drunk driver which caused my mother to suffer severe injuries.  While my mother lay in a hospital bed (at Roanoke Memorial) recovering from her deflated lungs and broken pelvis, experiencing the baby steps of which can only truly be understood when in full walking rehabilitation, she remained remarkably upbeat and faithful to the Lord, while I drew further away from the God which I no longer understood.  I questioned God's motive in our lives.  Why in the world would this happen to my family?  While I was thankful that my parents were alive and my mother remained so positive, I could not help but wonder why this was allowed to happen in the first place? What purpose did this serve?  Furthermore, how in the world was she not as angry and frustrated as I was?

There is something you need to understand; my mother could do laps around me before all of this happened; she was quick and sharp and witty.  Now her vision was impaired, her breathing was weak, and she had no appetite to speak of.  Despite all of her physical challenges and her mind's fogginess due to strong medications she rejoiced in the tiny miracles she experienced.  This included her going to the bathroom on her own and walking to the end of the hall and back without feeling dizzy from lack of air filling her scarred lungs. 

During her time of rehabilitation (at Lynchburg General), which I refer to as her "superwoman" days, she took her first Communion since the accident.  It was a fall afternoon.  Our pastor, Rev. Gaston, brought with him a female ruling elder from our congregation who had been through much of what my mother had gone through. When the elder was a teenager; she had been left mostly blind due to an accident.  My mother was so frightened by the double vision that she was experiencing, but this kind woman brought her a sense of God's peace, that everything would work out according to God's plan.  I can now look back on this through my own lens as a pastor and see how carefully and compassionately planned this encounter was by our wonderful minister and friend. 

My mother told me later that she prayed to God that evening in fervor.  She said to the Lord that she was not strong enough to live like Abraham, to be willing to sacrifice her child to God.  However,she realized that she was merely a vessel and that I was God's child.  She told the Lord that she would give me over to God and prayed that God would use me as God's instrument in the world.

A year later I told my parents that I felt called to Seminary.  So much healing happened for our family in that time, both physical and spiritual.  My mother's unwavering faith in God's grace and mercy was a driving force in my understanding of God's work in our lives.  It was her utter humility and forgiveness regarding the events that had passed in our lives that humbled me and returned me to my faith in God's providence.  What once seemed a tragic and terrifying time in my life is now revealed to be the actions of God's unseen hand, calling a seemingly unlikely candidate, to a seemingly unlikely ministry. 

My mom still has "superwoman days." She made a great recovery. And while some of the injuries she sustained still impact her health in other ways, she can once again run laps, this time chasing her grandson. A few days ago my mother posted on Facebook about the 14th anniversary of the day God gave her and my father a second chance at life.  And how thankful she was to witness my graduation from college, my marriage, my ordination, and the birth of her grandson who is an every day joy  It is we who are the lucky ones.  Myself, my husband, my sweet son, our extended family and everyone who knows them.  Because to know them is to be known and be loved not only by them but by our God as well. 

God is good.

10 Holy Reasons to Take You & Your Toddlers To Church

Last week a church member brought me a terrific newspaper article from The Washington Post entitled, "10 unholy reasons I take my toddlers to church," written by Melissa Richeson.  I love it, it is an honest and witty article to which parents can easily relate.  But I'd like to push a bit further on some of Richeson's "unholy" reasoning.  We might be surprised but some of it is actually pretty "holy."  To see the original article, click the link below.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/06/07/ten-unholy-reasons-i-take-my-toddlers-to-church/

1) Sometimes I need a break.  Amen Mama, we all love our kids but sometimes we need some peace and churches often provide a well staffed nursery to provide care and love to your children.  Here's the thing.... your kids need a break from you too!  By Sunday mornings I think Kemper is very excited for a few hours away from Mommy and Daddy.  This is evident by the way he says, "CHURCH!!" When we pull into the parking lot.  There is nothing unholy about giving your children some time to be less dependent on you.

2) For me, there is coffee. Yes, we always have coffee prepared during Christ Connections in the little kitchen off of the adult education wing.  When I had a child I became a two cup woman.  I am right there with you.  I appreciate the thought too, of drinking my coffee without having to rewarm it in the microwave.  In the wizarding world, (read here pastoring) we call this "self-care".  "Love your neighbor as yourself" is what the scripture tells us.  Sometimes you love yourself and your neighbor a little better after you've had some caffeine. 

3) For them, there are snacks.  Guess what, at Covenant there are snacks for you too!  Lemonade and Cookies after worship is extended to all ages (but don't be surprised if the kids reach the table first).  We all need nourishment and church life provides that in many ways beyond animal crackers and goldfish in the kids rooms.  Many Biblical stories revolve around food, so don't be fooled into thinking there isn't something to be said for fellowship around a meal.  Presbyterians are very good at this. 

4) It's 'free' socialization for the kids.  Yes, our children get to interact with each other on a regular basis.  It is awesome to watch my two year old sing songs and dance with four year olds and eight year olds.  It is great to see him learning other kids names and being excited to play in the nursery.  What we are actually doing is building Christian Community for the entire family.  Not only will your children form bonds and learn about Jesus with and from one another, but parents will too.  At least that is the idea.  Instead of grabbing your "free" coffee and internet surfing in the narthex, parents are invited to participate in Christ Connections classes too.  Church is 'free' socialization for all ages! It's pretty great to build relationships with other parents of children your age, or adults who are empty nesters, or grandparents who have been through all that you are experiencing before you. 

5)  I get to wear real clothes.  Really? I wish I could come in sweats, but that's just me.  What parents mean by this is that sometimes we can get really bogged down at home with small children and find ourselves at the end of a Saturday having not yet showered or brushed our hair.  Covenant is not a fancy place, you don't have to wear a skirt or a tie to gain entry into our sanctuary.  We just want you to be here.  We just want you to feel the love of God in a safe space.   What I love about this  comment is that it means that as a parent you make a conscious effort to get out of bed and get you and your family out of the house to come to church!  It does take effort.  Here's a secret, no one is going to judge you if you come in late. Presbyterian time is actually 5 minutes behind real time.  The only people who get points deducted for going into overtime are the pastors.  So just come!

6) Adult music is nice. Covenant has great music.  All types of music are experienced in our worship services.  We delight in the presence of children and adults in worship, there is something enjoyable for everyone.  In addition to this, Children's music is nice too and we have an incredible children's music director who sings and teaches bells with our children each Sunday.  Several times a year these children share what they are learning in worship. 

7) The ladies love 'em.  There is no greater joy than having men and women alike just adoring your children.  Our children are nurtured by our nursery staff, our Sunday School teachers, our VBS volunteers, and later on our youth advisors.  It takes a village to raise our children, the church family can be that village for you! Not only do congregations love the children, they love the parents too.  They want to help foster a relationship with God and the church for both children and parents.

8) The kids take a good nap.  There is nothing sweeter in our house than the long nap that follows Sunday church.  I mean this for Kemper and myself.  It is a commandment to Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy.  Napping is a great way to do that.  It comes around again to that idea of "self-care."

9) There is no judgment.  (See Number 5)  Correct. You will not be judged for being late. No one should not be judged in church at all, ever.  A church family should understand the hardships of raising a family (or choosing not to raise one).  You should not be ignored or judged for your parenting choices (or general life choices).  The church is supposed to be an open and safe place for the entire family.  If it doesn't feel that way parents, please go talk to your pastors.  They care about facilitating a warm, welcoming place for every individual in the congregation. 

10) I've made friends.  Not only will adults make friends if they become involved in the life of a church, but as I said, so will your children. Your children will make friends with kids their age, and older and younger.  They will have teenagers to look up to as they age. You will find people who will pray for you, will listen to you, will advocate for you, and will help take care of you.  Congregational life should look like this.  It should be a place in which you feel that you can be wholly yourself, because we are all perfectly imperfect.  If you don't feel like there is an "adult group" where you fit, what is your interest?  What would you like to see?  Tell us how we can make that dream become a reality for you.  I bet there are other people interested in that same idea for ministry. 

It seems to me that the Holy Spirit is at work in every ordinary aspect of this list.  If being "unholy" looks like this, I'm in. 

Fish For People

Jesus Calls the First Disciples

5Once while Jesus^* was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, ²he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. ³He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. ⁴When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.’ ⁵Simon answered, ‘Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.’ ⁶When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. ⁷So they signalled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. ⁸But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ ⁹For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken; ¹⁰and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’ ¹¹When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.

On July 10, we will reflect on Luke 5:1-11 in worship.  I have the pleasure of sharing worship leadership with several of our youth who went to Massanetta Middle School Conference a few weeks ago.  They came back eager to share some of what they had learned with the congregation.  I am excited to explore the text this week, one of the call stories about the disciples, particularly Simon Peter.  As I reflect on how to "launch" this particular sermon and how to "put out into the deep water," I've been pondering my own call story a little bit this morning. 

Well, it is not exciting.  Jesus did not hop into my boat or make himself appear in my college dorm room beckoning me to follow him.  Instead, I think there was a gentle nudging all throughout my adolescence.  It simply took some time for me to recognize "my call" for what it was. 

I remember the joy I experienced in planning and participating in Youth Sundays and Christmas Eve Services at Bedford Presbyterian as a teenager.  I loved writing the liturgy and the skits.  I loved adding my voice in dialogue and prayer.  I was in awe of the leadership at conferences and thrilled when my own youth group had opportunities to serve in that way at presbytery or regional gatherings. 

It took a little while but I have now learned that when Bill and Aimee Buchanan tell you something, they are usually right.  So, I recall distinctly being in the sanctuary at BPC one day and having Aimee tell me I should go to seminary. We had been practicing for a Youth Sunday. She was sitting on one of the short pews up front, under a window.  The mid afternoon sun was shining down, brightening the mint green carpet, sparkling on the brass railings (which you NEVER touch). She grinned at me with her big Texas smile and said, "Loren, you've got something, you should go to seminary."   I laughed at her!  Like Sarah in her tent with the angels outside, I laughed!  I knew enough to know that Seminary meant learning ancient languages and presiding over Session meetings.  Thanks, but no thanks. 

The years flew by, as they do.  My friends and I graduated and migrated our separate ways.  I found myself in college preparing to declare my major and minor.  I was feeling a little bit defeated, not certain that my dreams of being a famous writer would come to fruition.  I was not dark enough or dreary enough to fit in the crowd with which I was studying. I also found that having a set schedule by which to write and be critiqued left me feeling stressed rather than creative.  So...what did I love?  What did I want to be when I grew up?  And there it was.  It all came flooding back to me.  I loved the church. I loved the people and the community that was bound together by a love of God and a desire to follow Christ.  I loved writing and worship.  Why couldn't I do both? Surely, a few summers of language school wouldn't kill me.  Would they? (Almost.) Surely the joys of ministry would outweigh the drudgery of session meetings.  (Amen.) 

When I told Michael, who I had been dating for probably 6 months at the time, that I was considering this path, he said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I figured."  As a PK I always tell people how blessed I am that he knew what he was getting into and married me anyway.    When I told my parents, they cried. Happy tears, I think. :)  When I told Bill and Aimee, my constant mentors and friends, they said, "we know"... as if I had reminded them of my love for French fries.  And that was it.  Once I know something, I just do it.  I knew I would go to Hollins and so I did.  I knew I would go to seminary, and so I did. 

I didn't expect to serve as a solo pastor of a small congregation.  But, that it is the true beauty of Jesus' call.  Our God sees the path set before us in ways we can never comprehend.  It was a blessing beyond measure to have been chosen for that particular congregation in Appomattox (who I love so dearly) at that time.  I didn't expect to be called to Covenant when it happened but here I am.

Every day the gifts God has given me are used to serve in a meaningful way.  And my call came from ordinary experiences.  Not unlike the fishermen who encountered Jesus in the gospel of Luke.  They didn't really want to take Jesus out on the boat and cast their nets into the deep waters again.  They'd been working all night, they were dead on their feet.  Sometimes it is hard to believe we might be meant for Christ's service.  Sometimes life just wears us down until we don't remember how best to be disciples.  We see in the nets cast by those disciples in the gospel of Luke that God's love and grace is abundant! Think on that today as you consider your call.  You have one.  We all do.