How do you structure your day?

How do I structure my day? With a cup of coffee in hand. 😏

As I said in an earlier post, I am very much a planner so I like to make lists and feel the satisfaction of checking things off.  It makes me feel more at peace in my life if I can be organized and methodical.  I am not certain this jives with the idea that I am also a creative type--but so be it. 

I've started to think of this not as a plan, but charting a map and navigating the day as I go. Not always a plan, but a routine.  I like very much to have routine and structure, but I am learning to be a bit more lose with the chunks of time in a day.  "Telling time" and keeping clocks is a human construct, so I am trying to learn how to make that work best for this human. 

The first order of business as I plan my day is to take care of myself first.  This is not something I have succeeded at in recent years.  I take it day by day.  But, my morning routine consists of brewing my coffee, loving on my waking child, eating breakfast, showering and getting dressed to greet the day no matter what is on the agenda.  I also try to read a bit in the morning, something for my soul health.  If I do not have the time for that (as with Sunday mornings) I listen to a podcast with the same purpose. 

After I take my kiddo to school, which is most days at present, I spend some time with God.  I know this is part of taking care of myself first.  It centers me and allows me time to sort through whatever is on my mind.  Sometimes I journal, sometimes I pray aloud, sometimes I meditate.  Sometimes I read scripture or another chapter from my current "soul book."  Once I take this time, whether its twenty minutes or an hour, then I can turn my attention to my tasks and lists. 

After that it is just one thing at a time.    Not overloading the mind with all the things is difficult.  I am learning and encouraging others to set reasonable, attainable goals for oneself.  I do strive to do the things that are harder to do with my son around while he is at school.  That way I am giving both my work and my son the most healthy attention that I can without being stressed about it.   When he is safely tucked away with teachers and friends who love him, and my husband is at work, I can retreat to my quiet office den and get to work. 

Here's another thing about planning my day.... another new thing I am trying to incorporate into the routine: regular movement breaks.  After about 30 minutes of focusing, I get up and move around.  I do some exercises or go for a short walk.  Being a pastor can be very sedentary,  it is a lot of reading, thinking, and writing (or sitting in meetings 😜). But, I have to remember that my physical health is just as important as my vocation and that I will serve that vocation better if I am healthy. 

My life becomes more fluid most afternoons.  As spring comes, we often stay after school at pick-up to play with friends on the playground.  I am appreciating the flexibility to do this--I can use the vitamin d and our only child can use the interaction with his peers.  Occasionally we will do other fun things or run errands after school. The lists and planning come into play if grocery shopping is to be done.  There is usually some element of productivity after lunch, but it might be more like doing laundry and reading a book for work while K plays, with the time punctuated by "mommy, I want a snack." 

Evenings are typically for family time, and preparing for the next day.  I'm learning to cook!  I have never had confidence in this arena but I am getting better at it.  What is more I am finding that it is a practice that makes me feel good as a wife and mother to prepare healthy meals for the family.  Usually the cooking happens a few nights a week and then we eat leftovers.  I pack lunch for Kemper most evenings and clean up the kitchen because having dishes in the sink bugs me. Often, I do some form of exercise after dinner.   We end up playing games, or bath time before books and bed. 

After Kemper goes to bed, Michael and I often spend time together.  We also enjoy the time to be alone and have some downtime to ourselves.  Often the cat cuddles up to me in the bed and I read a book for fun.  I tell you, in the evenings I often think there cannot be any woman more loved by the boys in her house than I am by my husband, my kid, and my cat.

I am trying to put the phone away and not engage in social media or screen time for at least an hour or two before bed.  This is tough as I like to be connected, but I am hoping it will be a practice that sticks.  I want to model that for my son, and I also want to be sure I am keeping healthy sleeping patterns.  I like sleep.  I used to sleep in all the time, but being a mom has forced me to be a morning person.  Hence, the love of coffee.  So, I try to get eight hours a night, but sometimes I wake up with my mind going, we all know how that is.  These nights are fewer and farther between however, as I continue to practice healthy habits and incorporate them into my day. 

Saturdays are for family and fun.  We might clean the house or run errands, but we also strive to just enjoy relaxing and being together.  I don't set many plans for Saturdays, the occasional haircut or play date.  We might go out for lunch or dinner, or Michael might cook since he likes to do that when he can.  

Sundays.  Well Sundays are always a lot for a pastor, no matter where or how you are serving.  In fact, even if you are not serving on a Sunday, it is still the central day of the week.  There is a different awareness, at least for me.  Right now, on Sunday mornings I lead worship and preach the Word and I love it.  It is a treasure and a gift I do not take lightly.  Sunday afternoons are for rest.  I won't say we get naps anymore, but sometimes.  But it is usually a lot of playing outside if the weather is nice or just snuggling on the couch, toys spread all over the living room like a bomb went off.  

Believe me when I say it has taken a lot of years and some pretty challenging times to get me to this place of health, happiness, and gratitude.  All you can do is try your best each day.  God's promises are new every morning.  And at the end of the day, give thanks for what you have done and trust that tomorrow is a new day for all that was left undone. 

What is your favorite movie and why?

My favorite movie all time is The Birdcage, starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane.  Oh my gosh, it is hilarious! I can probably quote half of the movie at this point.  Like watching the re-runs of Friends, it never gets old for me. 

My deep affection for this film is something I share with my mother.  We even had a cat for many years named after one of the characters, Aggador Spartacus. 

The premise of the story, which is based on a French film, is that two gay men, Armand and Albert own a night club in South Beach called The Birdcage, where Albert's show of "Starina" is the main attraction.   Armand has a young adult son, Val, from a relationship in his youth, and Val comes home to visit and tell his pops he is getting married.  His beautiful bride, played by Calista Flockhart, is sweet and charming.  But, her father, played by Gene Hackman, is a conservative senator who would not approve of Armand and Albert's relationship, nor the fact that Armand is Jewish. 

When Barbara and her family come to South Beach to meet the family, Armand hatches a plan to "play it straight" and hilarity ensures. 

What I love about this story is more than the fact that the acting is superb and I laugh until I cry.  The message at the core of the story is to be faithful to who you were created to be.  Armand, in trying to do anything he can for his son (as any parent wishes to do) to make him happy, sacrifices his true nature, and that of his partner, Albert.  It is a lesson in embracing your true self and being proud of your history, your life, and the people you love.  It is also a good lesson for families who are coming together in marriage-- this will be your extended family now; why would you want to fake that relationship for the rest of your lives!?  Finally, it teaches a genuine truth about the nature of judgment.  Throughout the story, the senator has to come face to face with his judgments of others and the hypocrisy that is so often found among politicians.  He comes to find that some things are more important than the political slant, the newspaper headlines.  He comes to understand love and family in a deeper way. 

What is your super power?

What is my super power... well that I am uniquely me....what a cop out right?  A super power I have might be resilience. I am not entirely certain if that counts, but as most people have, I've withstood a lot of peaks and valleys in my life.  All of our experiences in life make up who we are and inform our lives both consciously and subconsciously.  This is why I like the say, "you cannot judge my life by the chapter you walked in on." Most people encounter others for a phase of life, but our lives are not created in a vacuum, and the history we have been through shape where we are at present, and our present informs the future.  

I believe that even the knowledge of my birth story, being born six weeks early--has shaped my self-image for much of my life.  Because I have always been little, but loud. As a kid I always treasured friendships, because I was an only child. I grew up being imaginative and inviting others into the games and stories I created. My parents both went back to school when I was a little girl so I was shown more than told that education was important.  I've always felt like I was born into my wonderful family and given special gifts for words, stories, and writing--because God's work in the world ordained it to be so.  

If I hadn't been fortunate enough to go to preschool and have parents to read to me, I may not have been in the Gifted program in elementary school.  If my parents didn't show me how special school was I may not have liked it.  If I wasn't an only child, maybe I wouldn't see the value of true friendships so clearly.    If we hadn't moved to a new town when I was a pre-teen, I may not have gone to church and been baptized in the Presbyterian Church.  If I hadn't had an amazing youth group I may not have considered ministry. If I hadn't been exposed to storytelling, I may not have explored writing, since I loved to read. If I had not started writing, I may not have been inspired to go to Hollins University. If I hadn't attended Hollins, I would not have met my spouse.  If I had not met my spouse, we would not have this beautiful, charming, son.  If I hadn't gone to seminary in Richmond,  I may not have served the two churches I have thus far.  And if I had not moved to Roanoke I may not have the opportunities that are now rising on the horizon for me.   

There are definite shadowy valleys below all of the peaks I've described, but each of them has made me stronger. Whether it was a move, or a loss, an accident, or an illness, a stress or a failure-- each of them has shaped my resilience and more importantly my absolute knowledge of the need for God's unmerited grace.   

Maybe instead of worrying about our own super powers, fun as that question can be, we should be thinking about God, in whom we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28)

The Last Supper Question

I've been listening to Shauna Niequist's podcast recently and this is a question she asks every guest she interviews:

If you knew it was going to be your last supper; where would you be, who would be with you around the table, and what would you eat?

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now.  It is a really tough question. 

I think the meal would be held at Montreat, somewhere outdoors. I would love to hear the echo of conversations and laughter bouncing off of the stone walls.  Of all the places I have been in my life, it is still my favorite place on earth. It is the most thin place where I feel the Spirit's presence all around me.   Maybe after eating there would be time for everyone to go rock-hopping or hike Lookout.

Who would be with me at this meal?  Well, my immediate family of course, Michael my beloved and our son, the most amazing gift.  My parents, my in-laws, my sister-in-law and brother-in law.  Our extended family--aunts, uncles, and cousins who are so dear to us.  My best friend of umpteen (read almost 30!!!) years, Whitney and her parents.  My Hollins sisters, my treasures--the women who have inspired me and lifted me up every single day since I met them, and their children and spouses, "the Hollins Husbands".  My "hanily", the girls who have become another tribe in adulthood, just because we met on the sidewalk before a Hanson show.  Speaking of, if this is my dream--Hanson can totally be at dinner too (haha!).  My seminary friends, especially Crystal and her family, and Jeremy.  Two people who have mentored and supported me in some of my most difficult days.  And others too, all those who have shared in this crazy journey of ministry.  My BPC family, who raised me in the faith (too many to name, my heavens.) And the phenomenal women I worked with at Saxon Shoes, who were family to me when I lived in Richmond. 

So you see, it isn't really a meal--I think it would have to be a festival!  I wouldn't want it to be like a wedding where the bride and groom don't really get to visit with anyone who attend.  I would want to have precious moments with every person there.  And I would want them to enjoy each other too. 

What would we eat?  I think this is actually the hardest part of the question.... My Hollins heart says, "Fried Chicken and Tinker Cake, and Mac & Cheese (obviously)."  My Montreat heart says, "My Father's Pizza and Huckleberry Ice Cream."  The Tate in me says, "Grandma Becky's Turkey, Gravy, and Dressing with Grandma Pearlie's white double layer cake for dessert" and the Mitchell which has been part of my identity for so long now says, "We absolutely must have Debbie's Lemon Squares.  And why wait for dessert, eat them first!"  And, since I've been a baby I've loved Spaghetti, so a heaping platter of that would be delicious too.  Or.....or.... P.F. Chang's Lettuce Wraps.   

So, a festival with a crazy buffet.  Yep, sounds good!

How do you feel when you cannot tick off everything on your to-do list?

What?  That's a thing?  How can you make a list and not check off all the things?  Blasphemy!

Things you should know about me: I am a task-oriented, organized, doer.

I believe in files, folders, color coded (paper!) planners, and lists.  Glorious lists!

I am Presbyterian to the core which means if it "ain't" decently and in order it "ain't" right. HA!

I am actually not living by lists right now and it is a bit disorienting.  But, the time for lists are coming again, and when the time arrives I will be ready with my beautiful, inspiring planner and my colored pencils for which each activity has a special color.  And I will neatly plan ahead my weeks and I will write my list of tasks and as I go through the week I will check them off with a satisfying swipe of the pen! I do not have to check them off in order, I'm not a huge stickler for which day I get which activities done as long as they are on time.  But, by the end of my week, the goal is to have completed the list.

How do I feel if this does not actually happen?  Well sometimes it means I have to do a bit more work because the accomplishments are necessary for the success of the week.  Other times, I let it go, and I begin the next week's list with the previous week's unaccomplished tasks at the top.  Sometimes I feel frustrated because events did not unfold like I planned them and something caught me up so I could not finish my list.  Sometimes I feel burned out because I did the best I could and I still did not complete my tasks.

What is changing in my life are the non-negotiable items that will always be at the top of my list, and everything else will fall into place around them because these are healthy practices to strive to be the best version of myself.  This is the "list" I want to be driven by, not the work list, or the grocery list, or the negativity list.

1) Maintaining healthy relationships with my spouse, my son, my family, and my friends by being present and engaged in their lives as best I can.
2) Maintaining a healthy body through daily exercise and eating well.
3)Maintaining a healthy spiritual  and mental life by daily reflection in various ways.

I was recently struck by this quote from Rachel Hollis, and I am going to try my best to remember it!

If you could change one thing in the world what would it be?

So many things come to mind! And not necessarily in order of importance....

Intentional gun control. Not taking everyone's guns, but regulating the purchase and possession of fire arms. I'm sorry (not sorry) but some people should not own guns based upon their mental health or personal history. You know what, my Daddy owns guns and so do a lot of other people I know.  But, if my Daddy gets mad, he might slam a few cabinet doors (and he loves Jesus but he cusses a little) but he isn't going to run to the gun safe to air out his grievances.  That is the difference, folks. It is so nuanced, I know.  I don't know how exactly how to personally contribute to this horrific situation in our own country, but I know it is more than thoughts and prayers.  Education and voting are about the extent of my reach.   (Go ahead, New Zealand!)

Ending Pollution.  I'm sorry you don't believe the ice caps are melting.  I'm sorry you don't see the ocean turning into a landfill.  I'm sorry if you think the end of the world is not immediate and therefore not your problem.   It's okay, we don't need trees to breathe! What do I do about this situation?  What do we all do?  Well, personally, we don't own gas guzzling SUV's that drive like army tankers.  If you own one and need one, fine.  But I think we can all be more mindful of how frequently we ride the road. Do all of your errands at once.  Carpool.   I'm all about learning how we can harness the power of wind and solar energy.  I like the idea of electric cars, can we make them affordable?  When I go to the grocery store, I try to take reusable bags, just a small thing.  But, counter to that, we use an awful lot of plastic sandwich bags...so you know, balance.

Ending Religious Persecution.  Just because you think your religion (which came down to you based upon your geographical location, societal prescriptions, and family of origin) is the right way, or the only way to eternal life, transcendence...whatever it is.... does NOT give you the right to judge, hinder, or persecute others from experiencing, worshiping, and living their own religious beliefs.  I believe that stronger education about world religions and other cultures would go a long way to tackling this issue.  This is why whenever I have oversight of a confirmation class in a church, I always teach World Religions.  I took courses in college on World Religions, I think it should be required, in high school!  We teach history and science, we shouldn't overlook how religious beliefs have shaped both.

Shut down all  the "-isms."  Racism, Class-ism, sexism, ageism.  Come on y'all.  I would say "it ain't hard" but Lord help us, it is hard.  It is hard because we have lived with it for eons.  It is so ingrained in us, in our society, we do not even trust where to begin.  And everyone participates in some sort of "-ism" so the idea that we are living life perfectly by staying in our own lane is just crap.  I think we have to own our privilege--at least for me, I recognize that I am a white female who comes from a healthy middle class family.  I went to college, graduate school, and have maintained employment.  I am married to a white man who also has an education, and we are raising a white, male child with all the opportunities that we have also enjoyed. I have a roof over my head, food on my table, and praise the Lord, a loving family who has helped us more than we could ever repay.   I believe a huge part of the solution is awareness, just be mindful, just listen to understand, just be present.  We have to open our eyes--injustice DOES exist.

You know what the one thing may be that could alter the landscape for all of these things?  COMPASSION!  Where is our compassion for all living things?  Where is our respect for one another?  Did it fly the coop when Twitter was invented?  The rhetoric of our national and international landscape is appalling!

Brene Brown defines compassion as this: "Recognizing the light and dark in our shared humanity, we commit to practicing loving-kindness with ourselves and others in the face of suffering."   Yes, Lord let it be so!  And in case you are wondering, loving-kindness is in the scriptures, the Hebrew word is hesed.  It's Biblical! It absolutely blows my mind that the worst offenders of judgement, the least compassionate individuals in the world often claim to be followers of Christ.  Do you see, even now I am judging! Even now I am projecting my views upon "the other."

But, it does not matter to me if you are Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, Buddhist--our shared humanity should drive you to be compassionate. It does not matter if you proclaim yourself Republican or Democrat....honest to goodness close your mouth and open your ears a little more. I include myself in this plea!  To have respect, to seek understanding, to practice empathy.  The world is not so polarized as we have made it to be.  We have allowed ourselves to become manipulated by people of wealth and power in order to line their pockets or widen their circles of influence.  We hide behind our smart phones and our computer screens where the news is fake and humankind is theoretical.  What happened to the proverbial filter?  What happened to reaching across the aisle?  Our senses are so dulled by over stimulation that we fail to see, fail to hear, fail to feel both our own humanity, and the humanity of every individual we meet.  If we could walk toward common ground, recognizing that it can be a sacred, holy space... we might find ourselves experiencing empathy and compassion not only directed toward others from our own hearts, but mirrored back to us.

How hard/easy is it for you to express your feelings?

Somewhere in my adulthood I think it became difficult for me to express my feelings.  I think this is because as we get older our experiences and our responses to those experiences become more complex.  It happens over time, I think without us necessarily recognizing the shift if we do not slow down enough to pay attention to it in a practiced, intentional way.  And who has time for that, right?

When I was an adolescent and a young adult I spent more time reflecting on what I was thinking and feeling and my outlet for those revelations was through writing. Graduate school, ministry, marriage, and having a child all kept me so engaged that I convinced myself that I didn't have time to reflect so that I could express my feelings in healthy ways.  The more complex the situations or the emotions became, the less I had time for them. 

I found myself believing that it was easier to deal with other peoples' difficulties, expressions, emotions.  That I was trained to do.  But to look at myself?  To discover less than complete competency, less than great achievement, less than happy, less than healthy, less than anything....no, I had to shut that down and keep going.

 Because to keep going meant that I could stay the course (whatever it was), it meant that eventually the ship would right itself because of my competent steering! I lost sight of the importance of reading the stars and testing the wind.  I did not want to take the time to discern my navigation.  And what is more, I believed that I had to be the captain of the ship, and I had to set the course, navigate, and man the wheel myself!  Because, if you are doing it all yourself, you don't have to face the feelings, or wrestle with, or compromise with anyone else in the crew either. 

So, there you have it.  For all of my pastoral care training, for all of my conflict management training, for all of my time in Clinical Pastoral Education, I still struggle with expressing my feelings.   I think that as a pastor, we unfortunately have so much pressure and expectation pressed upon us, that sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that what is perceived of our vocation has to be who and what we are.  Wow.  We all fall short of the glory of God, do we not?  At any rate, it is hard for me to admit that truth, to let it go, to not hide behind those expectations--whether placed upon me like a cloak by others, or self-imposed.

What I am learning, in this great time of self-care and reflection in my life, is that time for mindfulness and self-awareness is key to a healthy life, for any person--no matter their experience.  It doesn't matter if you're a stay at home mom, or a banker, a teacher, or an IT professional.  You could be a missionary or a nurse, a lawyer or a dad who works from his home office.  You could be a retired grandparent or a college student--no matter.  Spend time in reflection.  Spend time in meditation, or prayer; read sacred writings or thought provoking materials that connect for you.  Write it down, keep a journal, ask yourself the tough questions.  It can open your heart and mind to what you are thinking and feeling so that you can express yourself in healthier ways.  It is a faithful practice not only for yourself, but for the people around you. 

How do you feel when you look at the sky?

There is nothing more humbling than looking at the infinite sky.  Nature, for me, is a sure sign of God's masterful creation.  I don't know exactly how it happened, but whether in seven days or billions of years, I believe in God as the force of all creation.   To me the sky is like God's canvas, on which God paints beautiful pictures to remind us of God's all-powerful, all-knowing, constant presence. 

When I was a young girl, I remember going out to our front yard on Christmas Eve and looking through the clearing of trees around our home and trying to point out the North Star.  It gave me chills--not because I was wondering if Santa was going to fly by, but because it was so large, so dark, and lit by uncountable stars.  It made me feel oh so small. 

As a teenager I would sit out on our back deck, or even better, lie in the middle of the deserted street, the warm pavement heating my back, and search for shooting stars on which to make wishes.  It was always interesting to me that stars pointed the way for people, for years and years.  That the stars could give directions to hunters, gatherers, and sailors; that the sun and moon were the perfect almanac for the first planters and settled inhabitants. 

In recent years I have experienced some pretty stunning sunsets over the water, enjoying walks on the beach with my family.  The glow of the sun highlighting my son's strawberry hair as he races the tide and chases the birds.  Hand in hand with my spouse,  the sea shells collected tinkling in his pockets.  The sun illuminates that which we often miss in the busyness of our lives. 

One gift about motherhood that I did not anticipate was witnessing the sun rise.  At our family's mountain home in North Carolina I have seen the most beautiful red-orange and pink skies glow behind blue mountains.  I have watched the sun rise and shine across the tree line, creating an amber glow as the forest awakens. 

In the sky God has given me reminders of God's faithful covenants with God's created people.  Rainbows shimmering in the mist speak of the newness of a fresh start after a bleak storm, as well as the constant presence of the One who is, was, and always will be.

Use one word to describe yourself

This quote from Shakespeare has sort of become my motto or mantra in the last several years.  My mother painted a sign of it for me as an installation gift at the second church to which I was called.  Since then, I have been gifted both a necklace and a bracelet with these words on them.  

Sadly, because of my petite stature and/or perhaps because I am female (and young by many standards); there can be a tendency by some to underestimate me.  People underestimate my ability to be a strong preacher or question my authority when teaching.  People are always saying, "well you don't look old enough to be a minister" or call me sweetie or treat me like a child.  I am thankful that typically after someone actually sees me in ministry or truly knows me, these preconceived notions fall away.  But, it is amazing how other people's perceptions of you can beat you down and make you think you are unworthy.  The truth is that no one can judge your whole story by the chapter of your life that they walked in on.  To do so only limits their own narrative and worldview--not your own.  

I used to think that being fierce meant that I could withstand any situation that came my way without fail.  That I was in control and I could spin all the plates in my life just fine.  What I have learned in the last year is that the fierceness is actually how one can be brave enough to admit brokenness, learn from mistakes, and strive to put the pieces back together in ways that are healthier.  The fierceness is in the getting up every day and walking through the doors that are opened to you.  The fierceness is in trusting the Spirit to be at work in and through all things.  The fierceness is in continuing on. 

So today I claim that I am fierce.  Even in my human brokenness. It seems to me that a lot of people in life will try to tear you down (I'm not certain of the reason, other than self preservation), when really what the world needs is more building up, more listening to understand, more compassion.  

All of the fires I have walked through in my life have refined me.  I am a woman of faith, integrity, creativity, grit.  I am committed to constantly examining what all of that means for me and those around me.  And that, my friends, is fierce.  

What did you want to be when you were younger?

What did you want to be when you were younger?

In her memoir, Becoming, Michelle Obama talks about how she detests the question we so often ask young children, "What do you want to be when you grow up," as if a person can only be locked into one identity or profession their whole lives rather than growing and evolving.  This is something  I had never really thought about before.  I wonder if asking children about their current interests or what they believe their talents are at the present time might be more beneficial to them. 

When I was small I played a lot of imaginary games and I am an only child so I could spend hours playing house with my baby dolls or school in my bedroom using only homework sheets.  Sometimes I would pretend I was a pioneer woman, a la, Little House on the Prairie, after my favorite books and television show. 

My best friend and I also pretended for several years as older elementary aged students, that we ran a successful business called LKT Fashions, where we designed all kinds of clothes and sold them to stores for millions of dollars every day.  It was so much fun, some of my favorite memories playing in our "office" at Grandma Pearlie's house. 

I also loved history growing up so I enjoyed visiting historical sites and museums with my best friend.  Our parents were great to take us all over the place, especially since Virginia is full of so much historical significance.  So for quite some time I believed I would grow up to attend William and Mary and work as one of the people in colonial dress in Colonial Williamsburg while I was in school. 

Writing was always a huge part of my identity.  I started writing short stories and poetry around second grade.  I participated in The Young Author's Contest all through elementary school.  I took creative writing and extra English classes whenever they were available in high school.  I spent many afternoons as a teen writing poetry.  As I began to seriously consider colleges, I knew I wanted to study English and Creative Writing and Hollins University was the obvious choice.  I had dreams of becoming famous and being featured in Oprah's book club. 

Obviously that has not happened, yet.  But I did end up being called into a vocation where I do write creatively a lot.  But, instead of poems, it is liturgy and prayers.   And instead of short stories or novels, they are sermons. 

I still love history.  I still love reading. I still love clothes.  I still love teaching.  I still love playing house.  I still love writing. 

What does your ideal day look like?

What does your ideal day look like? 

This quote from Miss Congeniality popped into my mind immediately!  Stan asks Miss Rhode Island what is her idea of the perfect date and this was her response.  Too funny, such a great movie! 

I wonder what is meant by, "ideal day"?  Does this mean, an ordinary day?  Because if so I think an ideal day is one where we all wake up happy, get out the door on time, eat healthy meals, and enjoy sunshine!  A day where we do not have to worry about anything in the world except enjoying each other and people we love.  Or maybe it is a day where ideally I hit the goals for waking up early, getting in morning devotions, eating 3 square meals, exercising, and getting a good night sleep. 

But if we are talking about dreaming up a day just for me, where I had endless amounts of time, energy and money, what would I do with myself?  First of all, teleportation has to be a thing for all of this to work.  Or maybe I just have to think of like a few days worth of scenarios--an ideal week!  Hmmm...

1)I would love to take a trip to Greece with my spouse.  If resources were endless and we could just wriggle our noses and be there, yes that would be amazing.  We have always said we wanted to go there and I hope one day this will come true, but that would be an ideal trip for the two of us.  

2) A day where I can go get a massage, eat lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang, and go on a shopping spree. Pants, tops, dresses, shoes, accessories, books.... all the things!  All of my tribe could come too, because you know, solidarity.  If my Hollins sisters were there, and my seminary pals, and my Hanson girls were present... I mean wow, we would be unstoppable.  

3) A full day at a beautiful quiet beach where we can go as a family and stay all day long without sunburns or rip tides. A magical place where sand doesn't stick...to anything! ;)  I would also be happy if the water were calm and clear and there was an easily accessible, clean restroom and delicious restaurant on hand.  I want a resort.  Clearly. 

4) A beautiful, warm day in Montreat, NC.  Where there was time to sit by the lake and read a good book or write. A day with plenty of time to go into Black Mountain and visit the shops and eat at My Father's Pizza.  An afternoon of rock hopping and Huckleberry ice cream.  And a worshipful evening in the Aud to round out the day.  

5) I would love to go to Hanson Day in Tulsa.  It's really a weekend instead of a day, but gosh, I would so love to go with my girls to OK and visit 3CG studios, go to member's only concerts and get photos taken with the band. Can anyone say, "buy me all the merch!"   I'd love to see where they live and what they have built!  I would enjoy the Brady Arts District and splurging on goodies at Ida Red.  

In truth, every day we wake up to a new sunrise is an ideal day.  I know an older gentleman, and every time I would ask him, "How are you today?" He would always say, "Oh, better than I deserve."  So, all in all, I'd say today was a pretty ideal day too. 

What is the hardest challenge you have overcome?

What is the hardest challenge you have overcome?

Whew.  Of course the prompt is deep when I save it for 9:45 PM....

I think this question is difficult because I have faced multiple challenges in life and comparing them would be like apples and oranges because they were in different stages of my life, involved different people, and many different circumstances.  As is the case with all of us, right? 

There is another reason I hesitate to answer this question.  I find it can be harmful to compare our challenges to those of other people.  Our struggles are individualized and great or small is not the point-- to overcome any adversity in one's life should be applauded.   I'm reading Brene Brown's book, Rising Strong and one of the things I am gleaning from her writing and her interviews is that if anyone dares greatly enough, they will eventually fall.  And from that fall they have to learn to rise from it.  Rising strong takes honesty, vulnerability, courage, and tenacity.  

Brown talks about the need to be attentive to our emotions when we find ourselves facing challenges.  She describes this as a curiosity about our emotions.  So, if I am to do that now, I would say I also hesitate to answer this question because I am afraid to admit or claim failures or struggles to other people.  Because I am a person who desires competency and I do not want anyone to think I am not capable of being an excellent wife, mother, pastor, daughter, friend, fill in the blank here.  

Maybe that is the hardest challenge I have had to overcome: my tendency to base my view of personal success on what others think of me; and search for happiness based on the approval and validation of others rather than from within.  To learn the difference between the guilt of a bad choice and the shame of being a bad person. A lot of this part of my nature informs the breadth and depth of all the other challenges I have faced.   Guess what, I am still in what Brown would call The Rumble!  

The choice to consciously check my emotions is difficult when I would rather check out!  For example, one morning last week my husband was trying to convey that our son should come into the kitchen and look at what was available and make breakfast selections for himself rather than me listing off a variety of options to him for him to choose.  I became irritated and defensive.  Why?  As I got into the shower I reflected on what had taken place.  Why was I upset? Surface Level:  I have for a great portion of his life,  been the one preparing K's breakfast plate.  It is simply part of our morning routine, as M is often already at work. I thought I had it under control.   Deeper Level: I felt I was being critiqued by my spouse for the way I handle breakfast and that put my back up.   Deeper Level Still: I do not want to be seen as an incompetent mother and--fear factor--I sure as hell don't want to screw up my kid.  

Once I got to the root of where my steam was coming from, I was able to calm down.  I wanted to revisit and make sure I understood where my spouse was coming from.   Instead of tamping it down or brushing it aside, I wanted to be intentional in listening to and respecting my husbands parental perspective.  We are supposed to be a team, and I want to work together, rather than contradict one another.  All part of the process.  Is it perfect, no.  Maybe it seemed like I was making it a bigger deal than it was, but, I was pleased in my willingness to wrestle with myself in order to become more self-aware.  

At what place would you like to be a regular?

At what place would you like to be a regular?

What an odd question!   Thinking about things I love, places I love, what environment speaks to me? The easy answer is a local coffee shop or book store. 

But, when I think about this season of Lent and sharpening my skills to continue the goals I have set for myself this year....I think the place I would most like to be a regular is in my devotional space.  To continue to frequently carve out that sacred time of quiet and contemplation. 

I went on a retreat of sorts back in January.  Each day I met with a spiritual director and we engaged in several different spiritual practices and talked through different devotional styles and the importance of committing to that.  She had a basket of things that she brought along with her to create an intentional space for her sacred time.  When I came home I could hardly wait to do this for myself.  I got my favorite storage container, a mint green wooden box and filled it with all the material things that remind me of God's work, or my own faith story.  Some of the things I placed inside are as follows:

-A pottery dish made by my beautiful, talented friend, Sonya Forte.  In this dish are prayer beads, various crosses, a shell from the beach, and a stone heart my husband gave me when we were dating.  A reminder of the support of loved ones, and tangible items to pray with.
-A stained glass heart fashioned by my wonderfully generous and loving friend, Georgia Chapman.  It was made to hang on a window, but instead I place it in a frame stand.  A symbol of the strength of spiritual friendships.
-A metal cross fashioned by an artist whose name I do not know, that was given to me by the treasurer of the first church I served.  A reminder of my call and the centrality of the cross. 
- A pottery dish with the word "joy" stamped on the bottom; a gift from longtime friend and colleague, Mary MacMichael.  On this dish sits the candle I light to begin my devotions. 
-A hand crafted card from my friend, Judi Barnes, who mailed this to me in a time I needed it most.  It reads, "God's promises are new every morning." 
- A stone from the creek bed at Montreat, given to me by my pastor and friend, Joseph Gaston on the day of installation in the first church I served. A reminder of the holy ground that I love in that place, and the way the Spirit touches me there. 
-A hand towel of light linen fabric sent to me by my friends the Skinners, the host family I lived with during my time studying abroad in London.  It has all the iconic scenes one might think of when considering London, from double-decker buses to Big Ben.  It reminds me of friendships and adventure. 
-A leather bound Bible, bought for me by my spouse with my name embossed on the cover when I was in seminary. 
-A journal, for which I can write prayers and reflections. As a writer, this is an important part of my reflection process.
-A small bottle of Frankincense oil.  I put a few drops on my hands sometimes as a way to focus my mind.  Small things, such as creating this tangible space that is "other", lighting a candle, listening to a song or singing bowl, and having a special scent--engages all of the senses in devotion.  The spiritual director I met with used this scent one day and I was so taken with its citrus-like smell.  It lingered on my hands all day and now when I smell it, it is a great reminder of how that time with her impacted me, as well as the other things I engaged in that day of the retreat.

I want to continue to make this a central part of my life.  I want this to be the place I am a regular because it grounds me.  It reminds me of who and whose I am.  It gives me peace, strength, and vitality.  It opens me up to intentionally listen for God's movement in my life.  It allows me to spend some time contemplating what I am feeling and thinking about in my life. Honestly, I have found it hard to have a contemplative practice such as this as a pastor.  It can be hard to do these things for oneself when studying, teaching, and preaching the Word is your job. But, I am finding various ways to do so, and it has been life-giving to me. 

Are you considered "a regular" somewhere?  Is there a special place you turn to for comfort or inspiration? 

What is an appliance that you cannot live without?

I believe it was the first Christmas after Kemper was born that my husband bought me a Keurig for Christmas.  This was one of those extravagances of convenience that I just didn't think I needed.  I was doing just fine making my one to two cups of coffee in our coffee pot at home each day.  I would put it on to brew, hop in the shower and get ready then fill my mug on the way out the door.  

When I unwrapped the box, totally surprised by the gift, Michael said to me, "you are doing so much, just enjoy this one thing to make your life easier."  It didn't take long to sell me on this one!  For a time I kept it in my office at the church so that I could have a cup of coffee, tea, or cider at any time throughout the day.  

Now Michael knows that I am up for the day when he hears the Keurig start to brew.  Kemper also recognizes the routine and will say to me, "Mommy, go make your coffee."  

I didn't drink coffee except for the occasional blend from Starbucks until I went to seminary.  I am a "the less it tastes like coffee, the better" type of person.  But, when I started baby Hebrew I figured--I'm eventually going to get hooked on caffeine  so I might as well start now.  Thus began my love affair with the nectar of the gods.  

For a time, when Kemper was a true baby and toddler I drank two cups a day.  There was always a pot made at work so I would have a cup at home and a cup in the office. I've cut back to one cup a day 99% of the time and I rarely ever have sodas anymore.  

So that is it, my coffee maker.  The machine that fuels my day.  If I didn't have a fridge or a stove, I'd figure it out.  Now, to be fair, my microwave comes in a close second--when we didn't have one for a few weeks this winter it was an eye opener as to just how much we use it.  But, the Keurig, yes, the gift that keeps on giving.  

Hmm, I think I might go make a cup of coffee.  :) 

What book do you always recommend?

What book do you always recommend?

Oh, this is such a fun question! I love to read! There are so many great answers to this question.  How do I pick just one?  Oh, right, it is my blog so I don't have to pick just one!

I will always recommend any book by Lee Smith.  As a female writer and graduate of Hollins University, I value her storytelling abilities in the southern fiction genre.  You may know her best for one of her early works, Fair and Tender Ladies. One of my favorites of hers was written in 2003, The Last Girls.  This book is based on a true story from Smith's time at Hollins University, in which a group of young women built a water craft and floated down the Mississippi River one summer, Huckleberry Finn style.  The novel reminds us of the importance of the stories we live and retell in our own lives.  If you'd like to learn more about Lee Smith, pick up a copy of her memoir, Dimestore. 

 Another book I often recommend is Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, by Christopher Moore.  If you enjoy satire, this is a great book for you.  If you do not like mixing humor and religion, you may want to steer clear.  But it is one book that I have read multiple times.  The basic premise is that Biff is brought back to modern times by an angel to write a new gospel, the story of what happened to Jesus in the years between being twelve years old and thirty when his ministry began.  It is Jesus' adolescent and young adult years.  In the story, Jesus and Biff travel the world visiting many scholars of world religions so that they can learn about different faiths that can inform Jesus' future.  In the book, Jesus, a Jew, loves coffee and bacon.  Again, you have to be willing to suspend the serious nature of faith and enjoy it for the fun of the story...but it actually does make you think, "what was Jesus doing in that time? Who were his friends? How did he come into his own understanding of being the Messiah?" 

What about you? I'd love to know what you are reading and what books you would recommend.  My husband threw out several Neil Gaiman titles, Neverwhere and Stardust, so check those out too. 

What is the last picture you took?

What is the last picture you took? 

My in-laws have this great home in the mountains of North Carolina. My son loves to go to the cabin.  This photograph is of our recent trip there and he is playing on the community playground which looks like a really awesome tree house.  I have pictures of him on this slide from virtually every trip we have made in the last two years.  Once he has outgrown this particular activity, maybe it will be fun to print all of the pictures together to document how he has grown and changed.  

He played hard all weekend on this trip.  Our first day was wintry mix and rain at its finest and he spent hours building creations out of magnet tiles, crafting art work, and building pillow forts.  The second day was much more mild and we ventured out for a hike after breakfast.  This little trooper went almost the entire two miles without tiring.  Later in the afternoon we walked around the lake and played on the playground you see here.  He definitely got "mud butt" as we called it, but well worth it to see him enjoying the outdoors.  

What this picture represents for me is that each time we come here, we are creating memories with family and friends.  Particularly for our son, he will grow up with a fondness for a place that seems magical to his eyes.  A place where you wind through the forest and see woodland creatures and "fairy houses" in moss covered tree roots.  A place where it can snow in April.  A place where you can pop movie style popcorn and eat ice cream out of fancy bowls. a place that seemingly never runs out of s'mores for the fire pit and a rocking chair that fits just right.  A place to string Christmas lights on the bunk bed and snuggle with a stuffed bear twice his size.  

We live in a time where so much of the "good things" in our lives are seen through the lens of social media.  We want to share what delights us with our friends.  Sometimes this causes our impressions of each other's lives to be skewed towards perfection.  We think to ourselves, "wow I wish I could travel that much" or "I wish I could cook a beautiful dish like that" or "I wish I could be that fit or that well-dressed."   This causes so much anxiety among people, and so much perfectionism that can never be achieved.  Maybe it's because we've stopped truly talking about what it is that we are sharing. Not to mention, we don't want to post about the negative things because we choose not to make ourselves vulnerable to the idea that we are imperfect.  

So, for all of these precious things I've shared with you about this photograph and what it sparks for me; the truth is that we had a meltdown the first night because he was so tired and he didn't want to go to bed.  And he sat on my lap in the bathroom floor for five minutes before brushing his teeth.  And in the process of all that creative fun, we lost a very important Lego piece and cannot finish our dinosaur.  

But in the end, we will not remember that stuff as much as we will the endless giggles from being chased around the great room or the declaration that he must be the leader as we walk the trails.  In life let us always strive to be mindful of the memories being made, and make them count.  

Who would you meet from the past?

If you could meet someone from the past, who would it be? 

The first person who comes to mind for me with this question is Thomas Jefferson.  Most people would probably expect me to say Jesus! And that would be amazing (obviously) but that did not come to immediately to mind, I suppose because Jesus is just greater than my imagination can muster.

As a Virginia girl who grew up loving history and visiting all of the historical places and museums around the commonwealth, Jefferson has always stood out to me.  Monticello is such a fascinating place to visit and my family lives in Bedford County, not too far from his second home, Poplar Forest.  As I write this my son is sitting beside me in a UVA hat, and I've always appreciated Jefferson's commitment to education. 

Some things I would love to discuss with TJ are as follows:

1) Tell me about drafting the Declaration of Independence and your impressions of the war that followed.   Just so we can clear the air about what you meant when you declared that all are created equal....how did this settle with your conscience as a slave owner? From what I understand, Jefferson struggled with the idea of slavery and yet as a businessman with a plantation continued to live into the societal norms of the day.   Furthermore, I wonder what TJ would have to say about the state of affairs today in our country.  I wonder what he would have to say about his great university being the stage for such ugliness and violence by white supremacists in recent years. 

2) In a similar vein, let's talk about Sally Hemmings and her children.  I would love to know the true nature of this relationship and all of the history behind it! I think the discoveries being made at Monticello are so interesting and revealing.  You know we tend to put our historical figures such as Jefferson and Washington on pedestals, but they were also human and flawed just like the rest of us.  I'd like to hear about his struggles alongside his successes. 

3) I would just love to discuss the architecture of Jefferson's homes.  There are so many cool inventions and gems in his dwellings.  As a kid I was fascinated by the pulley system in Monticello that was used in the dining room to deliver meals.  And I also love the gardens created on the property.  I am not a person with a green thumb, but I can appreciate the beauty.  As stunning as the property is now, imagine how much more impressive it would have been in his day. 

4) Finally, I am so intrigued by Jefferson's Bible.  The fact that he decided to take the scriptures and basically cut and paste what he felt was important or true blows my mind!  Such a typical human response, to cherry pick portions of the Word...but I would love to hear his thought process behind this.  For example, Jefferson left out the miracles of Jesus and anything he would have considered "supernatural" including the Resurrection!  Well, the Resurrection is kind of the crux of the whole thing, is it not?  So as we are now in the season of Lent, it is curious to me, I wonder what Jefferson thought about Easter....


Who would you want to meet from the past? A family member? A historical figure? A person from the scriptures? 

Monticello, C. Jeremy Cannada

Lighting the Spark of a Student

What is an unforgettable moment from your childhood?

John L. Hurt Jr. Elementary School
https://hes.pcs.k12.va.us/

This is such a fun and interesting question.  In the summer of 2017 I wrote a series of blogs here on Preaching Thumbelina called "Stories To Tell" and a lot of my childhood memories are outlined there, so it is hard for me to think of something without repeating.

In second grade my class worked together to put on a play that was based on the storybook The Mitten, by Jan Brett.  What I remember most clearly is the big, bright red mitten that I think was fashioned out of butcher paper or some such thing.  Everyone in my class had a part in the play and we all had costumes because we were different woodland animals.

I honestly do not remember which character I was in the performance, but I do remember the nervous energy in our classroom that day. I may have just been one of the students to hold the mitten!   Our parents came and sat in our small, already antiquated wooden desks, our textbooks and wrinkled papers spilling out from below their legs.  It was wintertime I think because I remember the radiators hissing underneath the bank of windows that looked out over our school playground.  The windows probably had snowflake stickers on them, and the sky was overcast.

We all gathered in front of the chalkboard and acted out our scenes. It probably lasted no more than ten minutes.   I am sure it was far from perfect, but I do not remember that either.  What I can recall is the profound sense of accomplishment I had when it was all over! The smiles and claps from our parents, the poses for group pictures in our costumes all echoed what we were feeling: that we had learned a new skill, that we had accomplished something special as a class.

As a parent now I realize what a sacrifice it had likely been for so many of our parents to take off from work or find babysitters for younger siblings and come to our classroom for a ten minute play.  For them to get bundled up, bring refreshments to share, and sacrifice time and possibly money to support us.  For them to live the daily stresses of adulthood that I now recognize, and to put all of that aside to be present for us was special.  I know that there is nowhere else they would rather have been but cheering on their children.  I guess what is important here is that it meant a lot to me that my family was there. Children do notice and appreciate what their parents do, even if it does not seem like it sometimes.

Looking back, I think this may have been the year that my love for the creative arts, writing, and storytelling started.  I was a pretty advanced reader and I gobbled up books whenever I could.  I wrote my first story for the Young Author's Contest that year and won a blue ribbon.  I enjoyed writing stories and poetry.  I liked that our teacher read us a book and then allowed us to retell the story, to put ourselves into the narrative as we learned about what it meant for a story to have a plot.

You know, teachers are so under. Underappreciated. Underpaid.  Underfunded. And yet these men and women are passionate and dedicated to protecting our children and educating them in ways that help them flourish.  They work long hours, the first to arrive and the last to leave.  They take their work home with them to grade papers late at night and they make lesson plans months in advance on summer days.  They face sickness and germs daily but they rarely get a chance to take a sick day.  They see children come in who are dragging their feet, tired and hungry because they do not have food at home or supplies to do their homework. They take from their own pockets to give children the tools they need in the classroom and buy them food to fill empty stomachs.  They stand in the cold at recess and stand guard during bus loading.  Teachers are amazing.

We did not necessarily like our teacher very much in those days, if I remember correctly.  But, I can look back now and be thankful because she truly taught us, and she planted in me a seed that would grow throughout my life; a love of reading, writing, acting, creating.

What do you remember about your childhood? Was there a teacher or a subject that sparked for you at an early age?

Lean Into Lent II

What good habit do you want to develop?

If you read yesterday's post you will know that I have been implementing a lot of healthy practices into my life in recent months.  I also believe that for some folks, lent can be a season of adding something--a spiritual practice or healthy habit--instead of taking something away.  Let us remember that sometimes to say "yes" to one thing, we will need to say "no" to another thing. 

So, here is something I struggle with, and have for a long time: drinking more water. Oh my goodness, I do not know why this is hard for me!  I really believe it is a lack of mindfulness on my part.  I just do not think about drinking fluids as often as a I should throughout the day. 

I have no problem downing my cup of coffee in the morning, but to begin with water....meh.  And here's the thing, I rarely drink sodas anymore and I am not passing over the water for juice or tea or anything else. I'm just not hydrating like I should be. 

I've tried all manner of motivational tools: I've set an app on my phone to remind me (so easy to dismiss).  I've bought tumblers and glasses that make me happy (read here Hollins cups and Hanson cups and awesome mint green Yeti's)! I buy flavored water and vitamin water.  I've considered infused water, but gosh that seems like a lot of work. Still I struggle.  But, I am going to keep trying!

If only I could get back to drinking water like I did when I was pregnant!  I did so well, because I was doing it for my precious baby!  But, here's the thing--all of my healthy practices are in fact for my precious baby (read almost five year old) because if I am healthy I can better care for him!

Maybe by launching this goal into the world I will be motivated.  Perhaps this will provide me some accountability. 

What about you, friends?  What good habits are you striving to create space for in your life? 

Lean Into Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday.  It is the day we remember our mortality.  The ashes upon one's brow are a reminder of our creation by God from the dust of the earth.  "From dust you come and to dust you shall return."  It is also a sign of our broken and sinful nature.  But the cross reminds us of Jesus' immortality, his nature as fully human and fully divine.  The cross is a vivid sign that Christ was willing to demonstrate God's perfect love for us by dying a painful, human death on the cross.  Even though he was without sin, he took on all of our sins in order that we might know grace.  It is a profound day when one stops to think on it.  And the rest of the days between now and Easter morning are opportunities to reflect on our own human nature, or own faithfulness, as we follow the journey of Christ to the cross.  Lent can be considered dark.  It is also considered a season of fasting, a season of giving up.  In recent years some have decided that it should be a season of additions rather than subtractions.  So instead of giving up chocolate we choose to take on a spiritual practice such as daily meditation.

The last four months have been a journey for me toward more healthy living; body, mind, and soul.  This has required all manner of changes which I will not bore you with, but suffice to say, I have come through the tunnel and I am basking in the glow of warm light on the other side.  I thought that it might be interesting for this season of Lent to follow some writing prompts I found online and share them daily with you.   This is a spiritual practice for me--the joy that comes from creating.   So these questions and responses may not pertain directly to Lent every day....but I hope it will provide cause for you to pause along with me and answer the questions for yourself.  That you might, as Ash Wednesday nudges us, consider your humanity and what it is that makes you a healthy human being that is living into God's call on your life in the best way possible.

Today's Question:  What is your word of the year?

I actually do have a word of the year, it is love.  Love of God. Love of neighbor. Love of spouse. Love of family. Love of friends. Most of all, love of self. 

1 John 4:7 says,  "Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God."

We are loved by our creator!  Through our creation, through our redemption and salvation in Christ God's love is found.  It is breathed into us through the Holy Spirit.  We are told that our greatest commandment it to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves.

This.  This is what I am striving for.  How do I actually love myself?  How do I show myself love?  What I am discovering is that by showing myself love through dedicated time with God, caring for my body through healthy eating and exercise habits, and being mindful of my own emotions and situations....I am more free to love others!  Do you know why?  Because I am happy.  Truly, I turned to my spouse today and said, "I'm really happy."  All because I chose to love myself.  All because I chose to make a conscious effort to live to my own standards rather than allow myself the pressures of the world to take over, or to rely on someone else's affirmation to make me happy.   It is a challenge every day.

Just because you love your partner, or your child, or your job does not mean you have to pour every ounce of yourself into demonstrating your love at the expense of your own well-being.  It is an incomplete picture if you are not being attentive to your own needs, dreams, body, mind, and soul.

I can show my love better to those around me because I am traveling through a journey of healing.  The first way I showed my love to my family and to my dear friends, was in trusting them with the difficulties I was facing.  Guilt and shame are terrible afflictions...but they cannot survive if you share your story, because compassion washes them away.  (Thank you Brene Brown).  My husband, my son, my family, and my friends have been my cheerleaders every step of the way.  They are reminding me and showing me the love that I was scared to give myself and too overwhelmed to ask for.

So, as I lean into lent, I am also leaning into love.  I am trusting that God is love.  God is grace.  God is at work in and through our lives and God has a perfect purpose for me.  I am made of dust.  To dust I shall return.  I was fashioned out of dirt and holy breath; created, sustained, and redeemed. 

What is your word this year?