Last week a church member brought me a terrific newspaper article from The Washington Post entitled, "10 unholy reasons I take my toddlers to church," written by Melissa Richeson. I love it, it is an honest and witty article to which parents can easily relate. But I'd like to push a bit further on some of Richeson's "unholy" reasoning. We might be surprised but some of it is actually pretty "holy." To see the original article, click the link below.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/06/07/ten-unholy-reasons-i-take-my-toddlers-to-church/
1) Sometimes I need a break. Amen Mama, we all love our kids but sometimes we need some peace and churches often provide a well staffed nursery to provide care and love to your children. Here's the thing.... your kids need a break from you too! By Sunday mornings I think Kemper is very excited for a few hours away from Mommy and Daddy. This is evident by the way he says, "CHURCH!!" When we pull into the parking lot. There is nothing unholy about giving your children some time to be less dependent on you.
2) For me, there is coffee. Yes, we always have coffee prepared during Christ Connections in the little kitchen off of the adult education wing. When I had a child I became a two cup woman. I am right there with you. I appreciate the thought too, of drinking my coffee without having to rewarm it in the microwave. In the wizarding world, (read here pastoring) we call this "self-care". "Love your neighbor as yourself" is what the scripture tells us. Sometimes you love yourself and your neighbor a little better after you've had some caffeine.
3) For them, there are snacks. Guess what, at Covenant there are snacks for you too! Lemonade and Cookies after worship is extended to all ages (but don't be surprised if the kids reach the table first). We all need nourishment and church life provides that in many ways beyond animal crackers and goldfish in the kids rooms. Many Biblical stories revolve around food, so don't be fooled into thinking there isn't something to be said for fellowship around a meal. Presbyterians are very good at this.
4) It's 'free' socialization for the kids. Yes, our children get to interact with each other on a regular basis. It is awesome to watch my two year old sing songs and dance with four year olds and eight year olds. It is great to see him learning other kids names and being excited to play in the nursery. What we are actually doing is building Christian Community for the entire family. Not only will your children form bonds and learn about Jesus with and from one another, but parents will too. At least that is the idea. Instead of grabbing your "free" coffee and internet surfing in the narthex, parents are invited to participate in Christ Connections classes too. Church is 'free' socialization for all ages! It's pretty great to build relationships with other parents of children your age, or adults who are empty nesters, or grandparents who have been through all that you are experiencing before you.
5) I get to wear real clothes. Really? I wish I could come in sweats, but that's just me. What parents mean by this is that sometimes we can get really bogged down at home with small children and find ourselves at the end of a Saturday having not yet showered or brushed our hair. Covenant is not a fancy place, you don't have to wear a skirt or a tie to gain entry into our sanctuary. We just want you to be here. We just want you to feel the love of God in a safe space. What I love about this comment is that it means that as a parent you make a conscious effort to get out of bed and get you and your family out of the house to come to church! It does take effort. Here's a secret, no one is going to judge you if you come in late. Presbyterian time is actually 5 minutes behind real time. The only people who get points deducted for going into overtime are the pastors. So just come!
6) Adult music is nice. Covenant has great music. All types of music are experienced in our worship services. We delight in the presence of children and adults in worship, there is something enjoyable for everyone. In addition to this, Children's music is nice too and we have an incredible children's music director who sings and teaches bells with our children each Sunday. Several times a year these children share what they are learning in worship.
7) The ladies love 'em. There is no greater joy than having men and women alike just adoring your children. Our children are nurtured by our nursery staff, our Sunday School teachers, our VBS volunteers, and later on our youth advisors. It takes a village to raise our children, the church family can be that village for you! Not only do congregations love the children, they love the parents too. They want to help foster a relationship with God and the church for both children and parents.
8) The kids take a good nap. There is nothing sweeter in our house than the long nap that follows Sunday church. I mean this for Kemper and myself. It is a commandment to Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy. Napping is a great way to do that. It comes around again to that idea of "self-care."
9) There is no judgment. (See Number 5) Correct. You will not be judged for being late. No one should not be judged in church at all, ever. A church family should understand the hardships of raising a family (or choosing not to raise one). You should not be ignored or judged for your parenting choices (or general life choices). The church is supposed to be an open and safe place for the entire family. If it doesn't feel that way parents, please go talk to your pastors. They care about facilitating a warm, welcoming place for every individual in the congregation.
10) I've made friends. Not only will adults make friends if they become involved in the life of a church, but as I said, so will your children. Your children will make friends with kids their age, and older and younger. They will have teenagers to look up to as they age. You will find people who will pray for you, will listen to you, will advocate for you, and will help take care of you. Congregational life should look like this. It should be a place in which you feel that you can be wholly yourself, because we are all perfectly imperfect. If you don't feel like there is an "adult group" where you fit, what is your interest? What would you like to see? Tell us how we can make that dream become a reality for you. I bet there are other people interested in that same idea for ministry.
It seems to me that the Holy Spirit is at work in every ordinary aspect of this list. If being "unholy" looks like this, I'm in.
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