Let me preface this little post by first saying that my situation may be somewhat unique. I don't know as this is my first call, but after three years I recognize that in a lot of ways I have it very easy. I am so blessed in my ministry. I have a very supportive family who understand the demands of my ministry. Both of my parents are elders in the Presbyterian church and my father-in-law is a Methodist minister who has been an excellent mentor for me. My husband has moved with little complaint from the role of PK (preacher's kid) to PS (preacher's spouse). I thank God each day that I married someone who already knew what they were getting into. My congregation is very respectful of my personal time. I rarely get calls on my day off and my vacation days have always been approved. The only discussion that has ever been had about my vacation time centered around my request for them due to Hanson concerts, and even then it was all in good fun. So you see, what I am about to say comes from a place of concern for my friends in ministry more that for myself.
Here is the issue: I think there are some ministers who are made to feel guilty about the vacation time they are permitted in their terms of call. I believe there are active and otherwise supportive church members out there who believe that pastors get entirely too much paid vacation and do not see the need for this self-care. I also find, which absolutely blows my mind, that some people really do think that the pastor only works for a few hours on Sunday! Finally, there are some ministers out there who take on the role of suffering servant so fully that they never make time for themselves. They are always finding work that needs to be done on their day of Sabbath rest. They never take all of their vacation time or continuing education because for some reason they have been made to feel that the church cannot survive without them!
So the question: Are you, as a church member, caring for your pastor? Are you encouraging them to practice self care? If you are wondering why this is even an issue let us recall the greatest commandment, to love your neighbor as yourself. Are pastors exempt from this? I don't think so. In order for us, as your minister to adequately care for you; to hold your hand when you are in pain, to teach you about the scriptures, to preach each Sunday, to attend ball games and pot lucks and conferences with your children, we need rest! We need to take time to refuel-- body, mind, and spirit.
Because the truth is that being "on" 24/7 is exhausting. We are in fact on call for you all the time. Yes, this is the life we have chosen (or was chosen for us, thanks God) and we typically embrace it. But, please recognize the fact that there are not many jobs where one can be called to come home from vacation with their families to be of support to someone else. We spend more time being seen in the community as pastor than we are ever seen as spouse, citizen, friend. There are occasions when we find ourselves at church more evenings in the week than we do at home. This is why we need those precious days off and why we need to be made to take them! You can make it easier for your pastor to take off a Friday or Saturday by allowing them the space to do so. And pastor friends, set a day and stick to it! If for some reason you do not get to take your regular day off, take that time somewhere else during the week. You are hurting yourself and your ministry if you don't.
I have heard of congregations balking at the minimum requirements of vacation time for pastors. In my terms of call I get four weeks of vacation and two weeks of continuing education. This also includes 6 Sundays. In my three years here I believe this will be the first year that I have actually taken all of this time. It is in fact hard to get away. Of course, if one has the mentality that we only work on Sundays, I can see how it would be hard to see the need for four weeks of vacation. A word to the wise: members please don't scoff at us when we request two weeks of vacation to go and visit our family who we haven't seen in two years because they live half way across the country! And please don't make us feel guilty for taking a Sunday off because our best friend is getting married and we actually don't have to officiate! In my own experience, when my weeks are crammed with meetings and writing sermons and lesson plans, the last thing I want to do on my day off is go anywhere to socialize with my friends or even talk on the phone, I just want to hibernate! So, I need those intentional weeks of vacation to be with the people that I love, who know me as more than their minister. And I also need time to do all of the things I don't have time for otherwise, like cleaning out closets and washing the car. Our vacations give us an opportunity to be reminded of why we do what we do. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the work and lose sight of the vocation. We cannot take care of you properly if we are overwhelmed by the minutiae of ministry.
And pastor friends, hear me now: the time is in your terms of call so take it! There is no need to sacrifice yourself on the altar of "too much to do" when it will likely still be there when you return! For the average member, it might be difficult to understand the amount of stress that enters our lives during the seasons of Advent and Lent so 1) educate them 2) take time off when it is over. I recognize that for associate ministers and folks in larger churches this will be difficult because everyone wants vacation time, but make sure that somehow around these liturgical seasons you get the rest you need.
I think that something we all struggle with is how to be healthy. For many of us our days are spent mostly sitting behind a desk. While our brains are often well stretched, our bodies are not. We all have to find ways to exercise that are the most helpful to us. I have some #runrevrun friends but I am more of a #strollrevstroll type of person. Go for walks during the day, join a gym, do some yoga in the morning, whatever it takes! Conversely, some of us run around like chickens with our heads cut off all day long. We go from one thing to another at church and then we go home to chase our kids around for hours before bed. Relaxation and sleep are high on my priority list (sometimes too high :) ). And eating, goodness gracious how many days a week do we eat breakfast or lunch in the car driving from one visit to the next? How often do we eat take out because it is so much easier and we are too tired to cook a healthy meal? All I am saying is figure out a balance and for every cup of coffee you guzzle, drink some water too. Members, you can help us with this by inviting us out to lunch where there is a healthy selection of food, or bringing vegetables to pot luck dinners.
So, to our members, who we care about, who we truly love to serve: how can you help us care for ourselves? Here are just a few ideas that I recommend.
1) Respect your pastor's day off. If you don't know when it is, ask him or her. Think about why you are calling, is it an emergency or something that can wait until Monday?
2) Let us know that you recognize how hard we are working and encourage us to take vacation. Do you have a lake house, we'd love to stay there for a few days! Do you have some frequent flyer miles going to waste, we can help! Get tired of hearing our voices, tell us about an idea for guest ministers! We love that.
3) Consider paying for your pastor's gym membership or for exercise classes and give us the time to take advantage of them. Some of us don't do these things because we feel like we don't have the time to engage. Or we feel we shouldn't splurge on the extra cost.
4)Remember that we are people too. We like to read novels, watch sports, and get hooked on television shows just as much as the next person. It wouldn't hurt to engage us in conversation about these things, or our other hobbies. We appreciate being able to share these aspects of our lives from time to time, I think we need to do so.
5) The golden rule goes a long way. How do you want me to care for you? Do you want me, as your pastor, to recognize that you won't be at the committee meeting because you are going out of town? Do you like sharing both your joys and your concerns with your pastor? Great! Reciprocate!
I've rambled on long enough and as usual, I have quite the list of things to do. I will likely eat a can of soup while writing my sermon and talk myself out of exercising when I go home. Let's make a pact, help me take care of me and I will help you take care of you.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Happy Birthday, Aimee
At the age of fourteen, I met God. I had always known about God since I had been going to church off and on since I was a little girl. My grandparents and my parents made sure that I had a foundation for faith by attending Sunday School, VBS, and worship. But, when I was fourteen, I think I first recognized that God was an active part of my life. God saw fit to place our little family in a wonderful church, Bedford Presbyterian where I became a part of a bigger family who has loved and supported me ever since. At the center of that very engaging congregation at the time were two wonderful pastors, Joseph Gaston and Bill Buchanan, and their amazing families who I love as though we are blood related. And at the core of that sweet Buchanan family, which was still growing at the time I met them, was Aimee. I think one of my earliest memories of Aimee is her standing outside the door of the nursery at BPC with little Elli peeking at me from behind Aimee's legs.
I have been blessed in my life to have incredible women to look up to, especially in my family. Mother, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, mother-in-law, sister--in-law, women who each deserve a blog post of their own!
And then there is Aimee. When I was younger I thought that my relationship with Aimee was so amazing because she loved me when she didn't have to. Now, I know that she loved me and everyone she encountered, because she did have to. At the core of her very being I think was her living the gospel message to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Aimee loved me because I was a child of God and her love for me was indicative of God's love.
Aimee and Bill taught me a very important lesson about love, that part about loving yourself. As a teenager, your parents tell you they love you, want what is best for you, and they are proud of you but you just think, "you are my parents you are supposed to say that." I think it is important for that message to come from someone else who is just as invested in you. Aimee and Bill encouraged me to embrace the person who was blooming inside of me. Even when I was still trying to figure that out, they encouraged me to love the individual who was and is Loren: Child of God. So they fostered ME, the poetic me, the silly me, the Hanson fan me... all of it. They inspired me to dream dreams and ask questions and to see God at work in the world. Of all the people our children idolize today, I pray above all else they would encounter an Aimee in their lives!
So my first order of business on this day, Aimee's birthday, was to take some time to let all of the teens and college students in my congregation know that they are amazing. That I recognize their gifts, that I acknowledge their struggles, that they inspire me! They are scattered all over the place but I just wanted them to know that they have a home to come back to in the church. That there are many people who love them and are proud of them, including myself. What is seemingly a small effort actually can have big impact. I know that it did for me.
This afternoon I went and volunteered for a few hours at Gleaning For The World. GFTW was noted in Forbes Magazine as being America's most efficient charity. You wouldn't expect that from a place located in rural VA, but there it is. GFTW is usually one of the first organizations on site for any major disaster in the United States, mostly because they are so very efficient. GFTW collects items from companies that are overstocked and then sends those goods to places both locally and globally that need them. For example, they may send out band-aids or medical supplies for first aid kits. They collect blankets and toys for children. Gleaning is an organization that works locally, nationally, and globally. Today when I arrived at the warehouse there were at least three workers there and also three college students from Liberty University's volleyball team. We sorted through many boxes of juice, water, food items, diapers and even pet food, dividing them out not only by expiration date but also type of item (i.e. food that needs some sort of preparation or other ingredients and food that does not). Working at GFTW is not an experience where you can see immediate results, such as building a house or working at a soup kitchen, but it is just as important. It is all of those volunteer hours that makes it possible for GFTW to send trucks immediately to where they are needed most. In this way, I was able to make a small ripple, both locally and globally.
On my grocery trip late this afternoon I gathered the coins from our spare change jar and cashed it in to purchase canned goods for our local food bank which is run by St. Anne's Episcopal Church. Again, a small thing, but something I so often neglect to do, even when my congregation members are so faithful in doing so. It wasn't much, maybe three grocery bags worth, but someone in this community who is desperate for some vegetables for dinner will have some. There are many families in Appomattox who are struggling in this economy. Many have lost jobs or find it difficult to commute to bigger cities such as Lynchburg to find work. St. Anne's, a smaller church than ACHPC, does a fantastic job at meeting the needs of this community, and I am thankful to be able to help.
There are days when I come home cranky and tired, like tonight by dinner time. But then, my husband grills us steaks for dinner. And as I sit on the front porch and enjoy the breeze and the birds chattering about their day, I am humbled to be so very fortunate in this life. We have good jobs, a roof over our heads and food for our table. We have family and friends who love us and help us along the way. And I have this amazing inspiration in my friend Aimee, who loved me as I am. A woman who changed the lives of so many people with whom she shared her smile and her faith in Christ through her words and her actions. I am humbled to have been a part of this service day in her honor with countless others across the country. What a joy that we can all share a little piece of her as well as the love of God.
I have been blessed in my life to have incredible women to look up to, especially in my family. Mother, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, mother-in-law, sister--in-law, women who each deserve a blog post of their own!
And then there is Aimee. When I was younger I thought that my relationship with Aimee was so amazing because she loved me when she didn't have to. Now, I know that she loved me and everyone she encountered, because she did have to. At the core of her very being I think was her living the gospel message to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Aimee loved me because I was a child of God and her love for me was indicative of God's love.
Aimee and Bill taught me a very important lesson about love, that part about loving yourself. As a teenager, your parents tell you they love you, want what is best for you, and they are proud of you but you just think, "you are my parents you are supposed to say that." I think it is important for that message to come from someone else who is just as invested in you. Aimee and Bill encouraged me to embrace the person who was blooming inside of me. Even when I was still trying to figure that out, they encouraged me to love the individual who was and is Loren: Child of God. So they fostered ME, the poetic me, the silly me, the Hanson fan me... all of it. They inspired me to dream dreams and ask questions and to see God at work in the world. Of all the people our children idolize today, I pray above all else they would encounter an Aimee in their lives!
So my first order of business on this day, Aimee's birthday, was to take some time to let all of the teens and college students in my congregation know that they are amazing. That I recognize their gifts, that I acknowledge their struggles, that they inspire me! They are scattered all over the place but I just wanted them to know that they have a home to come back to in the church. That there are many people who love them and are proud of them, including myself. What is seemingly a small effort actually can have big impact. I know that it did for me.
This afternoon I went and volunteered for a few hours at Gleaning For The World. GFTW was noted in Forbes Magazine as being America's most efficient charity. You wouldn't expect that from a place located in rural VA, but there it is. GFTW is usually one of the first organizations on site for any major disaster in the United States, mostly because they are so very efficient. GFTW collects items from companies that are overstocked and then sends those goods to places both locally and globally that need them. For example, they may send out band-aids or medical supplies for first aid kits. They collect blankets and toys for children. Gleaning is an organization that works locally, nationally, and globally. Today when I arrived at the warehouse there were at least three workers there and also three college students from Liberty University's volleyball team. We sorted through many boxes of juice, water, food items, diapers and even pet food, dividing them out not only by expiration date but also type of item (i.e. food that needs some sort of preparation or other ingredients and food that does not). Working at GFTW is not an experience where you can see immediate results, such as building a house or working at a soup kitchen, but it is just as important. It is all of those volunteer hours that makes it possible for GFTW to send trucks immediately to where they are needed most. In this way, I was able to make a small ripple, both locally and globally.
On my grocery trip late this afternoon I gathered the coins from our spare change jar and cashed it in to purchase canned goods for our local food bank which is run by St. Anne's Episcopal Church. Again, a small thing, but something I so often neglect to do, even when my congregation members are so faithful in doing so. It wasn't much, maybe three grocery bags worth, but someone in this community who is desperate for some vegetables for dinner will have some. There are many families in Appomattox who are struggling in this economy. Many have lost jobs or find it difficult to commute to bigger cities such as Lynchburg to find work. St. Anne's, a smaller church than ACHPC, does a fantastic job at meeting the needs of this community, and I am thankful to be able to help.
There are days when I come home cranky and tired, like tonight by dinner time. But then, my husband grills us steaks for dinner. And as I sit on the front porch and enjoy the breeze and the birds chattering about their day, I am humbled to be so very fortunate in this life. We have good jobs, a roof over our heads and food for our table. We have family and friends who love us and help us along the way. And I have this amazing inspiration in my friend Aimee, who loved me as I am. A woman who changed the lives of so many people with whom she shared her smile and her faith in Christ through her words and her actions. I am humbled to have been a part of this service day in her honor with countless others across the country. What a joy that we can all share a little piece of her as well as the love of God.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Let's Talk About Lent
I did not grow up paying all that much attention to Lent. As a young person I perceived "giving up" something for Lent to be a very 'Catholic' notion and not something protestants really did. Plus, giving up chocolate is just ludicrous! I think that even more now that as a pastor there are days when chocolate is a MUST to jump the hurdles as I sprint to Easter, as is caffeine.
But, I do not really think that it is the giving up of something that is important. Lent is not diet to help you shed the pounds you have not lost since you declared to do so New Years Day so by all means, if you like soda or chocolate, have some! If you are going to deprive yourself during Lent, at least know why and have some meaning behind it. To sacrifice, I think is symbolic of Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross. That, to me, is way bigger than vowing not to eat M&Ms for a month. A sacrifice in that case should be something that draws you into greater relationship with the Lord. Only you can decide what that looks like. Maybe it is giving up that extra hour of sleep because you have been missing time in devotion or prayer. Maybe it is removing one element of your life to add something greater to it.
I do find it fascinating that there are so many debates swirling around "not being allowed to say Merry Christmas on our public streets" or "not being allowed to pray in schools" and yet....many devoted Christians brush Lent under the rug, ignoring the days between Ash Wednesday and Easter mostly because we do not want to give up anything! Especially our precious time, to go to a Bible Study or a community worship service, or simply to strengthen our faith at home.
But let me be clear, giving up things for Lent is not 'doing works' for salvation. Lenten practices are not necessary for your salvation, only faith in the life, death, and resurrection that Easter celebrates is needed.
Lent can help attune our bodies, minds, souls, to that very moment of rejoicing that Christ Is Risen! It is a time of personal introspection. Who are you, whose are you? What is your relationship with the triune God? It is a time of communal worship. We gather together in sanctuaries, fellowship halls, and homes to communally confess our sins to one another and be assured of the forgiveness we are granted in Christ. It can be a time to recall how great the sacrifice of life was for Christ and lament for the pain he and those who loved him endured. We can lament the pain that we too as part of the greater humanity also endure as we strive to follow Christ's call to us. It can be a time of study, a time to devote ourselves to learning more about our faith and perhaps the faith of others.
These are the reasons why, in recent years, Lent has become an important practice to me, not just because I am a pastor and I "have to do it," but that I want to experience this time, to honor Christ's sacrifice and find myself all the more joyful when we stand before the empty tomb.
But, I do not really think that it is the giving up of something that is important. Lent is not diet to help you shed the pounds you have not lost since you declared to do so New Years Day so by all means, if you like soda or chocolate, have some! If you are going to deprive yourself during Lent, at least know why and have some meaning behind it. To sacrifice, I think is symbolic of Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross. That, to me, is way bigger than vowing not to eat M&Ms for a month. A sacrifice in that case should be something that draws you into greater relationship with the Lord. Only you can decide what that looks like. Maybe it is giving up that extra hour of sleep because you have been missing time in devotion or prayer. Maybe it is removing one element of your life to add something greater to it.
I do find it fascinating that there are so many debates swirling around "not being allowed to say Merry Christmas on our public streets" or "not being allowed to pray in schools" and yet....many devoted Christians brush Lent under the rug, ignoring the days between Ash Wednesday and Easter mostly because we do not want to give up anything! Especially our precious time, to go to a Bible Study or a community worship service, or simply to strengthen our faith at home.
But let me be clear, giving up things for Lent is not 'doing works' for salvation. Lenten practices are not necessary for your salvation, only faith in the life, death, and resurrection that Easter celebrates is needed.
Lent can help attune our bodies, minds, souls, to that very moment of rejoicing that Christ Is Risen! It is a time of personal introspection. Who are you, whose are you? What is your relationship with the triune God? It is a time of communal worship. We gather together in sanctuaries, fellowship halls, and homes to communally confess our sins to one another and be assured of the forgiveness we are granted in Christ. It can be a time to recall how great the sacrifice of life was for Christ and lament for the pain he and those who loved him endured. We can lament the pain that we too as part of the greater humanity also endure as we strive to follow Christ's call to us. It can be a time of study, a time to devote ourselves to learning more about our faith and perhaps the faith of others.
These are the reasons why, in recent years, Lent has become an important practice to me, not just because I am a pastor and I "have to do it," but that I want to experience this time, to honor Christ's sacrifice and find myself all the more joyful when we stand before the empty tomb.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Holding On To Earthly Things
I think by now that most of you know I have had a very
difficult week. On Sunday someone very
special to me, my mentor, and family friend Aimee Wallis Buchanan passed away
due to complications stemming from the flu and ultimately pneumonia. Aimee was just 44 years old and left behind a
devoted husband and two teenage children who I have known all of their
lives. I tell you this because today I
am speaking from a very honest and heartfelt place. I must be honest with you in telling you that
writing about Jesus’ transfiguration was the last thing in the world I wanted
to do this week. I contacted some of my
minister friends and I said to them, “I am heartbroken and I don’t know how to
write about God’s presence and Jesus’ shimmering white robe when I am sad and
angry with God regarding his bigger plans that I don’t understand. Why did God
take my friend from this world, a woman who was serving God’s kingdom with her
whole life? ” But Aimee taught me to use
my words for healing. Aimee told me when
I was very young that God is big enough to take our anger, our wailing and
gnashing of teeth. It is okay to cry and
ask God tough questions when you don’t understand what God is doing.
So it is
very hard for me to talk about the glorious mystery of God today, because, I
myself, am not thinking it so glorious.
Rev. Rick Morley made the point in his blog post this week that we as
humans want to know everything, and right now, if you please. What did we do before we had Google at our
fingertips? How did we ever stay in
touch before the days of texting and Facebook.
He writes, “As humans we've always had a hunger and thirst for
knowledge—well ever since Eden that is. And, as technology has advanced through
the millennia, we want more and more knowledge within our grasp at all times.”[1]
Morley goes on to say, “For faithful Christians,
that’s no different with our relationship to God. We want to know things about
God. We want to know how to relate to God. We want to know how this story, or
this proverb, or this anecdote applies to our life. Tangibly. Really.” But we all know that God cannot be explained
by a series of readily available facts and statistics. God is a mystery and Morley relates our
relationship with God to that of sitting in a cloud, as clouds are so prevalent
in the scripture passages today. “It’s
like entering a thick cloud, where everything is obscured. Distorted.
Colorless. Disorientated. But, there, in the midst of the cloud is the Presence
of God who has come to be with you.”[2]
We all need to learn how to sit in the cloud. Even pastors, regardless of how many books we
have read, how many sermons we have written, are anxious about being wrapped in
the fog as it descends. We need to learn
how to be comfortable about knowing about something, without full understanding
the big picture, the Something, with
a capital “S”.
More than I ever have before; I think I can relate to
Peter’s response to his time on the mountain with Jesus. The gospel of Luke tells us that Jesus had
taken Peter, John, and James with him, up the mountain, to pray. The story describes them as being ‘weighed
down with sleep.’ But because they stayed awake, they were able to see Moses
and Elijah appear and have a conversation with Jesus about his departure. Peter wants to cling to that moment on the
mountain; he wants to make the mystery that surrounded them in that cloud
tangible and enduring. He is simply
trying to make sense of this situation as best he can.
I, too, long to hold on to earthly things, to
cling to this earthly life! More than anything else I want my friend; I want to
see my friend’s dancing eyes and radiant smile once more. I want her to breathe the fresh mountain air,
to listen to music and play with her beloved pet. More than anything, I want her to grow old;
hand in hand with her husband and see her two children graduate from high
school and college. To grow tall and get
married and have families of their own.
I want that. I can see and hear and touch that kind of
life. I cannot see or feel heaven. I cannot wrap my mind around the
resurrection, even though I believe with all my heart that it is true! So, much like Peter, who was so contented in
his earthly life with Jesus that he fell sleepy, I too have often looked at my
earthly relationships with bleary eyes, taking for granted this realm. I have
not been content to sit in the cloud, not willing to hear the voice of God
saying, “This is my son, my chosen, listen
to him!” “This is my plan Loren, mine not yours, sit with me.”
Rev. Morley writes; “Moses came down from the clouded
mountain with his face radiant—changed. Because it’s in the cloud that
we’re changed. Peter, James, and John are changed on that mountain—forever.
And, not because they learned lots of fun-filled facts. In reality, they
probably descended with more questions than answers. But, like Moses, they met
the Living God. And, that’s what
changes us. That’s what alters the course of our lives. And, as Christians, that’s
what we’re all about: being in God’s Presence.”[3]
Today, I think our challenge is to figure out how it
is that we meet the living God. His
presence is everywhere, in creation, in worship, in the people we
encounter. The truth of the matter is
that I encountered the Holy Spirit in Aimee Wallis Buchanan. In her ministry and the way she lived her
life, she showed God to me. She may not
have stood before me in dazzling white but her smile truly shined and her hugs
warmed the heart. My friend, the Rev.
Jeremy Cannada reminded me that the glory that we see manifested in Jesus in
this mountaintop moment is the glory that is promised to every person of
faith. He said to me that “the
resurrection is God's love given for us, and Christ transfigured is Aimee's
faith.”
We are not promised that being witness to the
Resurrection will be easy, we are not assured that because we have faith our
lives will be without pain, or that service to the Lord keeps us from illness
or heartbreak. But we are promised eternal
life, and we see a glimpse of that this week in Jesus. In the days to come, I will try to remember
this, and I hope that you will too. Let
us cling to this promise, mysterious as it is.
Amen.
[1]
Rev. Rick Morley, www.rickmorley.com,
internet accessed 1/31/13
[2]
Rev. Rick Morley
[3]
Rev. Rick Morley
Monday, February 4, 2013
She Changed The World
Today I will do something Aimee Wallis Buchanan taught me to do, to use my words for healing instead of hatred. Today through my tears and my grief I will remember a woman who embodied to me the Holy Spirit with her entire being.
Throughout the day I have been amazed at the number of people who, through various social media outlets, have shared their love of Aimee and the entire Buchanan Family. As my friend Katie Stetson expressed so simply and perfectly, "she changed the world." This is no doubt true, as I speak from my own experience in saying that Aimee's presence in my life shifted my entire worldview in a matter of just a few encounters.
The one word I keep coming back to when I think of my mentor, my friend, Aimee: VIBRANT! There are a lot of other adjectives bound up in that word such as witty, passionate, joyful, radiant. I picture her eyes dancing with anticipation as she prepared to share... well anything... a story, a joke, a sermon, a witty zinger which she used to throw at us teenagers in youth group every now and then. When Aimee walked into a room I think it expanded, to encompass her spirit. She would literally set the tone and temperature of the space she was in, always warm and inviting. Her deep laughter would echo down corridors and hallways and settle in your soul. Her heart was as big as her beloved state of Texas and I never doubted the sincerity with which she shared her love with me and with everyone she knew. For fifteen years of my life she has rejoiced at all of my triumphs, listened and given counsel in all of my fears.
I can remember many times watching her walk determinedly in one direction, clearly on a mission, only to turn on a dime and walk with just as much vigor in the opposite direction, for a purpose just as important. She was always busy living, busy parenting, busy creating, busy ministering. I suppose that it might be from Aimee that I learned that faith is about living. Church is a verb, not a noun, your faith leads you to active verbs... being, doing, caring, loving, listening, welcoming.
Aimee and Bill opened my eyes and my heart to my God given gifts at a very young age. I say both Bill and Aimee because the two are always coupled in my mind, like Bob and Jo (Carson) or Peanut Butter and Jelly. Knowing that Aimee studied English and loved creative writing and theater only made me look up to her more. The first time I saw her walk out on stage at Montreat and do a keynote I think my life shifted. I think, on some level, I knew I wanted to do that. I wanted to use creative expressions in worship. I wanted to have an impact on someone else's life the way she and Bill and countless others in my new church family were having on me. Aimee and Bill both showed me that my love of creative writing could be channeled into expressing my love for God. They encouraged me to write skits and poems and prayers for worship.
One of my brightest memories of Aimee is ten or twelve of us teens, gathered around her in the sanctuary at Bedford Pres, Elli no doubt toddling about somewhere in the background. Before we got ready to practice any youth Sunday or Christmas Eve she would make us do these vocal exercises. We would have to say things like "red leather, yellow leather" and "rubber baby buggy bumpers" over and over, faster and faster until we all exploded into a fit of laughter. She also did this thing where we had to stretch our faces and make our eyes as wide as possible "big face" and then pinch our eyes and lips together, "little face". "Big Face!"..."AHHHHH" "Little Face"...."mewmewmewmew". I have no doubt that she has used the techniques with hundreds of worship teams at conferences, youth groups, and Many Voices.
The truth is that Aimee recognized that God was at work in my life, calling me to some form of ministry long before I ever did. And she wasn't afraid to tell me that, even though the thought terrified me. But from that point on, the first time she showed that confidence in me, the first time she encouraged me in that way, I was in awe of her. So much of her ministry has been an inspiration to me. She had this deep dedication and drive in her work. I could tell that she really loved what she did, much more than a job, a vocation. It made me grow into a woman knowing two things: One: I could do and be anything I wanted to be in this world, including a minister. Two: Whatever I did in life, I needed to love it, I would need to utilize my gifts, otherwise I would never be happy. When I told them I felt called to ministry, it was like telling them I like french fries. They already knew. They had helped raise me in the faith, they knew me, they knew God was at work in me. When nothing else in this crazy world makes sense today, I know this: that she was happy and blessed.
Aimee's compassion is something that I strive to match (I am nowhere close). When I think of Micah 6:8 Aimee comes to mind as a shinning example of what it means to "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God." Aside from my own mother, Aimee has been the single most influential woman in my life, mostly in the example she set for me of how she lived. I am amazed by her work with Asheville Youth Mission, and of course Bill's too. That they, as partners in all things, took this leap of faith to start a ministry from the ground up, one that was deeply important to them, being hands on in the community...it was brave, it was inspiring. It was, as I think Bill would say, "a God thang." She taught me about compassion. She taught me about justice. She taught me about hope.
So today, as I am submersed in sadness; I try to think about the way she lived, rather than the fact that she is gone. I continue to wait for the pastoral voice in my head to turn on and remind me of all the things I've been taught, all of the things I know to say to others in their time of grief. I remember Aimee's voice telling me, "It is okay to ask God tough questions, it is okay to wail against God because you are angry or you are sad." But mostly I try to fill the hole in my heart, like this blank page, with thoughts of someone amazing, someone I am honored to know and love.
Throughout the day I have been amazed at the number of people who, through various social media outlets, have shared their love of Aimee and the entire Buchanan Family. As my friend Katie Stetson expressed so simply and perfectly, "she changed the world." This is no doubt true, as I speak from my own experience in saying that Aimee's presence in my life shifted my entire worldview in a matter of just a few encounters.
The one word I keep coming back to when I think of my mentor, my friend, Aimee: VIBRANT! There are a lot of other adjectives bound up in that word such as witty, passionate, joyful, radiant. I picture her eyes dancing with anticipation as she prepared to share... well anything... a story, a joke, a sermon, a witty zinger which she used to throw at us teenagers in youth group every now and then. When Aimee walked into a room I think it expanded, to encompass her spirit. She would literally set the tone and temperature of the space she was in, always warm and inviting. Her deep laughter would echo down corridors and hallways and settle in your soul. Her heart was as big as her beloved state of Texas and I never doubted the sincerity with which she shared her love with me and with everyone she knew. For fifteen years of my life she has rejoiced at all of my triumphs, listened and given counsel in all of my fears.
I can remember many times watching her walk determinedly in one direction, clearly on a mission, only to turn on a dime and walk with just as much vigor in the opposite direction, for a purpose just as important. She was always busy living, busy parenting, busy creating, busy ministering. I suppose that it might be from Aimee that I learned that faith is about living. Church is a verb, not a noun, your faith leads you to active verbs... being, doing, caring, loving, listening, welcoming.
Aimee and Bill opened my eyes and my heart to my God given gifts at a very young age. I say both Bill and Aimee because the two are always coupled in my mind, like Bob and Jo (Carson) or Peanut Butter and Jelly. Knowing that Aimee studied English and loved creative writing and theater only made me look up to her more. The first time I saw her walk out on stage at Montreat and do a keynote I think my life shifted. I think, on some level, I knew I wanted to do that. I wanted to use creative expressions in worship. I wanted to have an impact on someone else's life the way she and Bill and countless others in my new church family were having on me. Aimee and Bill both showed me that my love of creative writing could be channeled into expressing my love for God. They encouraged me to write skits and poems and prayers for worship.
One of my brightest memories of Aimee is ten or twelve of us teens, gathered around her in the sanctuary at Bedford Pres, Elli no doubt toddling about somewhere in the background. Before we got ready to practice any youth Sunday or Christmas Eve she would make us do these vocal exercises. We would have to say things like "red leather, yellow leather" and "rubber baby buggy bumpers" over and over, faster and faster until we all exploded into a fit of laughter. She also did this thing where we had to stretch our faces and make our eyes as wide as possible "big face" and then pinch our eyes and lips together, "little face". "Big Face!"..."AHHHHH" "Little Face"...."mewmewmewmew". I have no doubt that she has used the techniques with hundreds of worship teams at conferences, youth groups, and Many Voices.
The truth is that Aimee recognized that God was at work in my life, calling me to some form of ministry long before I ever did. And she wasn't afraid to tell me that, even though the thought terrified me. But from that point on, the first time she showed that confidence in me, the first time she encouraged me in that way, I was in awe of her. So much of her ministry has been an inspiration to me. She had this deep dedication and drive in her work. I could tell that she really loved what she did, much more than a job, a vocation. It made me grow into a woman knowing two things: One: I could do and be anything I wanted to be in this world, including a minister. Two: Whatever I did in life, I needed to love it, I would need to utilize my gifts, otherwise I would never be happy. When I told them I felt called to ministry, it was like telling them I like french fries. They already knew. They had helped raise me in the faith, they knew me, they knew God was at work in me. When nothing else in this crazy world makes sense today, I know this: that she was happy and blessed.
Aimee's compassion is something that I strive to match (I am nowhere close). When I think of Micah 6:8 Aimee comes to mind as a shinning example of what it means to "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God." Aside from my own mother, Aimee has been the single most influential woman in my life, mostly in the example she set for me of how she lived. I am amazed by her work with Asheville Youth Mission, and of course Bill's too. That they, as partners in all things, took this leap of faith to start a ministry from the ground up, one that was deeply important to them, being hands on in the community...it was brave, it was inspiring. It was, as I think Bill would say, "a God thang." She taught me about compassion. She taught me about justice. She taught me about hope.
So today, as I am submersed in sadness; I try to think about the way she lived, rather than the fact that she is gone. I continue to wait for the pastoral voice in my head to turn on and remind me of all the things I've been taught, all of the things I know to say to others in their time of grief. I remember Aimee's voice telling me, "It is okay to ask God tough questions, it is okay to wail against God because you are angry or you are sad." But mostly I try to fill the hole in my heart, like this blank page, with thoughts of someone amazing, someone I am honored to know and love.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Boldly Ask
"You do not have, because do not ask."--James 4:2
McKenzie and Miller beg the question in Climb Higher, "If you truly believe in your clear and compelling vision, why would you not invite others to join you in fulfilling it? If you truly believe you are being called by God to accomplish your ministry objectives, how could you not encourage others to get on board?"
Because I do believe that we as a church are working toward a clear and compelling vision. I do believe that we have wonderful ministries that we would be remiss to let go of in order to cut corners on our spending. It is not as if we are hoarding money away, we want to use it to spread God's grace throughout the community.
There is a fear in our lives today of giving away too much and not having enough for our own families... I resonate with that very much. There is also a fear in churches I think that everyone will know how much we give and judge us for not giving enough. What a horrible atmosphere to be in if we all looked over each others' shoulder to see how many bills we were putting in the plate... but I know that happens in some congregations (I hope not here). Generosity should bring joy, not burden. This is not like giving dues to a club so that you can participate. But it is about taking ownership for your church. It should not be about keeping up with the Jones' in the pew across the aisle. But it should be about investing in something that is important to you, if it is in fact a valued part of your life. Give as you feel the Spirit leading you, because you too believe in the vision of the church, in the ministries that are happening!
What you give is between you and God. The Lord knows your heart. I can't help but think of the parable of the widow's mite. She gave such a small amount of money to the collection, but hers was the most valuable because she gave as much as she possibly could with a generous heart. Stewardship is about more than giving of your money, it is also about praying for the financial well being of the church. Pray for our ministries, pray for our elders who make decisions, pray for our treasurers who work hard to keep our books in good order. I have come to realize that it is not just me boldly asking church members to reconsider their giving. It is also not the elders alone who are encouraging you to increase your tithe. It is a conversation between you and God, one in which God is boldly asking you to consider the role that Christ's church plays in your life and how you will commit to it.
I take this opportunity to praise God for the many ways in which our congregation does support the church financially. We are able to do wonderful things! I thank God every day that our congregation has put a roof over our heads and food on our table. We are fortunate to be able to work together, there are so many churches who are struggling to stay alive, to keep their doors open. I am thankful for the thoughtful conversations we have had and will continue to have as we envision a future for our church. I am thankful for the ways in which the congregation has and will commit to our ministries through giving of their time, their finances, and their prayers. May you be blessed and be a blessing.
Monday, September 24, 2012
What's My Motivation?
What motivates you in life? For me often times it is writing a list so that I can then experience the satisfaction of checking things off of it. A friend of mine said a few weeks ago that his mom is the kind of person who sits down at the kitchen table with her morning coffee and at the top of her "to do" list writes, "make coffee" just so that she can mark it off. Kindred spirits, she and I. Other times it is a deadline fast approaching that motivates me, paying bills for example. The best motivation comes when you are inspired to do something! When sheer joy or love drives you to finish that book, write that article or finish that project. One of the most important and exciting things for me to do in the past few weeks has been to prepare for my besties' wedding. There has been nothing too great or too small that I would not do to help her. After all, this is part of a bridesmaids' job! Buying a fancy dress, showering her with gifts, and taking her with friends to the beach for a weekend before the wedding has been such a blast. Indeed, our continued friendship has motivated me to try and be the very best bridesmaid that I can be!
I'm sure you know where I am going with this: what is our motivation when it comes to the life of the church? We know that when it comes to the task of giving of our time, talents, and treasures, there are many times when climbing that particular mountain appears to be too steep! How can we motivate each other to pack up our gear and begin the arduous climb? How do we motivate one another to join us in the journey to become as generous to our church as perhaps we are in other areas of our lives? "What", you might ask, "is my motivation?"
I love this statement from McKenzie and Miller in "Climb Higher." They write, "God continues to express generosity and give to us in ways we can hardly imagine--not because of what we do, but because of grace. God's gifts come to us without strings attached. Our gifts to God should be returned in the same way." Grace, the ultimate motivation!
I could talk about generosity in the church being budget driven, but if you are like me, reading a bunch of numbers and line items can be intimidating and your eyes begin to glaze over. Fiscal responsibility is very important and all of us should be aware of the church's expenses and the need to fund our various ministries, pleading with members to help out when times are tough isn't necessarily the best approach. Another option is to merely plea for help in a crisis situation. This might lead a congregation into a panic or to believe that the church is no longer viable. While a congregation should always be told if a financial crisis has emerged, it should be a vision for ministry that inspires the congregation to resolve it. Some churches attempt to divide the amount of funding needed to sustain ministries equally among its members.Families are told what is needed and their portion and are called to respond accordingly. Wow, um...insulting (in my opinion). This sounds a lot more like being guilted into paying dues rather than out of being lead through prayer to give as they are able. We also have to be careful not to encourage a "giving to get" mentality. Have you ever heard a testimony from someone who said that after they increased their tithes to the church they recieved a promotion or a raise? Our tithing should not be based on a bartering relationship with God. Remember, God blesses us by grace alone and those blessings preceded and exceeded any gift-giving on our own part.
I have shared this quote with our congregation before: "We don't pay the utility companies because we love paying utilities. We budget for utilities because of the many different ways in which the building is used for ministry." So, what is our motivation? Instead of talking about money lets talk about ministries.
One of our best kept secrets at ACHPC is probably our music program. When visitors come to our church they are blown away by the amount of talent we have in our small congregation. It reminds me of a song Martina McBride used to sing, "I'm little but I'm loud." I hope that for as many folks that come to me on Sunday morning to tell me they enjoyed my sermon, they tell our pianist, choir director, guitarist and choir members how fantastic they are. While I do not like the notion that worship is a performance, I do on occasion encourage church members to clap after an anthem because the choir deserves to know that they have helped that congregation come closer to God in that moment. That the Holy Spirit's presence was felt due to their inspiring music. It isn't just about praising them, it is about glorifying God and in those moments thanking God for the talents they share with us each week! I look forward to occasions such as Joy Gift and Palm Sunday when they are able to breathe new life into our worship. Having laity participate in worship each Sunday by leading the liturgy is crucial to our continued vitality, it helps members to take ownership of their worship and spiritual health.
I think we are also strong in our Christian Education at ACHPC. We may not boast multiple Sunday school classes, but why should we? What is the benefit of being fragmented when such wonderful, thoughtful discussion happens in one room? The curriculum for the upcoming year for both adults and youth strives to connect real life, newsworthy events and personal narratives with the scriptures. How do the scriptures help us to respond to what is happening in the world? The Men's Fellowship Group and the Girls' Day Out study does the same thing, although with a different context. We know that thoughtful study is an important key to our inspiration, it is what helps us to flesh out our theology and apply our faith to daily living.
In addition to our study and worship, we fellowship with one another each and every week! It is a delight for us to have luncheons and dinners together, to sit down and spend that quality time just being in relationship. But, it is amazing what 10 minutes after worship can do to lift one's spirits, energize them for the coming week, share in a smile that can spread, one to another. Make no mistake, the stories of the Bible are encounters with neighbors, relationships are at the core of each one!
There are churches that are twice the size of ours in number but can't seem to find the time to take care of one another. Our family ministry is by far one of the most wonderful things we do. While I try my very best to visit with our members when they are ill or struggling, I simply cannot do all that I would like. I could never do enough in all honesty, but with help from congregation members, we are able to show our love and support to members. The cards, the flowers, the food, mean so much to people. I would encourage everyone that you do not have to wait until you are the person signed up to do family ministry to reach out to folks. Our prayer list is in the bulletin each week for a reason. After you've prayed for our members, call them, visit them, and pray with them!
The amount of work we do in the community is also phenomenal. When people call us and ask for help with groceries, we can direct them to the local food bank because we are always collecting food for their shelves. When people need help with their rent or their electric bills, we are able to provide for them because of the congregations generosity with funds as well as the time our members spend working to raise money at the Railroad Festival. We assist with Habitat, we do an angel tree, 2-cents-a-meal, the list goes on and on. In fact, we may have too many irons in the fire. But, they are each so very good.
Make no mistake, the success of these ministries is directly linked to our congregations generosity. Generosity of tithes, generosity of time, generosity of talents. I ask my congregation to think about the impression these ministries have had on your life. When it comes to generous giving, what is your motivation?
I'm sure you know where I am going with this: what is our motivation when it comes to the life of the church? We know that when it comes to the task of giving of our time, talents, and treasures, there are many times when climbing that particular mountain appears to be too steep! How can we motivate each other to pack up our gear and begin the arduous climb? How do we motivate one another to join us in the journey to become as generous to our church as perhaps we are in other areas of our lives? "What", you might ask, "is my motivation?"
I love this statement from McKenzie and Miller in "Climb Higher." They write, "God continues to express generosity and give to us in ways we can hardly imagine--not because of what we do, but because of grace. God's gifts come to us without strings attached. Our gifts to God should be returned in the same way." Grace, the ultimate motivation!
I could talk about generosity in the church being budget driven, but if you are like me, reading a bunch of numbers and line items can be intimidating and your eyes begin to glaze over. Fiscal responsibility is very important and all of us should be aware of the church's expenses and the need to fund our various ministries, pleading with members to help out when times are tough isn't necessarily the best approach. Another option is to merely plea for help in a crisis situation. This might lead a congregation into a panic or to believe that the church is no longer viable. While a congregation should always be told if a financial crisis has emerged, it should be a vision for ministry that inspires the congregation to resolve it. Some churches attempt to divide the amount of funding needed to sustain ministries equally among its members.Families are told what is needed and their portion and are called to respond accordingly. Wow, um...insulting (in my opinion). This sounds a lot more like being guilted into paying dues rather than out of being lead through prayer to give as they are able. We also have to be careful not to encourage a "giving to get" mentality. Have you ever heard a testimony from someone who said that after they increased their tithes to the church they recieved a promotion or a raise? Our tithing should not be based on a bartering relationship with God. Remember, God blesses us by grace alone and those blessings preceded and exceeded any gift-giving on our own part.
I have shared this quote with our congregation before: "We don't pay the utility companies because we love paying utilities. We budget for utilities because of the many different ways in which the building is used for ministry." So, what is our motivation? Instead of talking about money lets talk about ministries.
One of our best kept secrets at ACHPC is probably our music program. When visitors come to our church they are blown away by the amount of talent we have in our small congregation. It reminds me of a song Martina McBride used to sing, "I'm little but I'm loud." I hope that for as many folks that come to me on Sunday morning to tell me they enjoyed my sermon, they tell our pianist, choir director, guitarist and choir members how fantastic they are. While I do not like the notion that worship is a performance, I do on occasion encourage church members to clap after an anthem because the choir deserves to know that they have helped that congregation come closer to God in that moment. That the Holy Spirit's presence was felt due to their inspiring music. It isn't just about praising them, it is about glorifying God and in those moments thanking God for the talents they share with us each week! I look forward to occasions such as Joy Gift and Palm Sunday when they are able to breathe new life into our worship. Having laity participate in worship each Sunday by leading the liturgy is crucial to our continued vitality, it helps members to take ownership of their worship and spiritual health.
I think we are also strong in our Christian Education at ACHPC. We may not boast multiple Sunday school classes, but why should we? What is the benefit of being fragmented when such wonderful, thoughtful discussion happens in one room? The curriculum for the upcoming year for both adults and youth strives to connect real life, newsworthy events and personal narratives with the scriptures. How do the scriptures help us to respond to what is happening in the world? The Men's Fellowship Group and the Girls' Day Out study does the same thing, although with a different context. We know that thoughtful study is an important key to our inspiration, it is what helps us to flesh out our theology and apply our faith to daily living.
In addition to our study and worship, we fellowship with one another each and every week! It is a delight for us to have luncheons and dinners together, to sit down and spend that quality time just being in relationship. But, it is amazing what 10 minutes after worship can do to lift one's spirits, energize them for the coming week, share in a smile that can spread, one to another. Make no mistake, the stories of the Bible are encounters with neighbors, relationships are at the core of each one!
There are churches that are twice the size of ours in number but can't seem to find the time to take care of one another. Our family ministry is by far one of the most wonderful things we do. While I try my very best to visit with our members when they are ill or struggling, I simply cannot do all that I would like. I could never do enough in all honesty, but with help from congregation members, we are able to show our love and support to members. The cards, the flowers, the food, mean so much to people. I would encourage everyone that you do not have to wait until you are the person signed up to do family ministry to reach out to folks. Our prayer list is in the bulletin each week for a reason. After you've prayed for our members, call them, visit them, and pray with them!
The amount of work we do in the community is also phenomenal. When people call us and ask for help with groceries, we can direct them to the local food bank because we are always collecting food for their shelves. When people need help with their rent or their electric bills, we are able to provide for them because of the congregations generosity with funds as well as the time our members spend working to raise money at the Railroad Festival. We assist with Habitat, we do an angel tree, 2-cents-a-meal, the list goes on and on. In fact, we may have too many irons in the fire. But, they are each so very good.
Make no mistake, the success of these ministries is directly linked to our congregations generosity. Generosity of tithes, generosity of time, generosity of talents. I ask my congregation to think about the impression these ministries have had on your life. When it comes to generous giving, what is your motivation?
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